#do what u will and what u wish they’re ur dolls i have my own

[who-always-pays-their-taxes]

look,,, there comes a point in reading fanfiction,,, where you begin to just slowly lower what’s acceptable,,,, sure, this fic is currently using overdone tropes and also absolutely destroying the personality of one of my favs but i literally can’t find anything else i haven’t read!!! like, this fic is centered around my favs and the plots so good and yeah this character is kissing his adoptive father in the background and i don’t enjoy that-!!! but i just gotta ignore them bc my favs r over here-!!!!!

[baroquebucky]

grasp

soulmate au where when you touch your soulmate you see glimpses of your future with them; the winter soldier touches you and realizes there’s so much more out there

series masterlist // previous // next

part four

word count: 4.5k (worth it omg)

masterlist

a/n: hi bffs !! hope u all enjoy this chapter i am v proud of it :] let me know what u guys think i love reading ur feedback and talking w you guys !! (srry for any typos :P)

You were giddy with excitement, texting steve that you were ready to be picked up when he was ready. Your hands fiddled with buckys dog tags, a smile on your face while you waited on the couch for Steve.

It had become routine for you to join steve on his visits to wakanda to visit bucky. T’challa had been kind enough to allow you to tag along, saying soulmates should never have to deal with all the two of you had gone through.

You phone buzzed with a message from steve letting you know he was on his way. The excitement in your chest grew, having so many stories to tell bucky.

The drive and the flight felt long despite you sleeping through most of it. Finally stepping out into the fresh air and greeting the royal family, making small talk with shuri as t’challa and steve walked towards where bucky was staying.

“i should get going, I’ll be sure to meet up with you tomorrow so we can talk about it!” you smiled brightly at the girl and she nodded, waving you off.

Shuri had been kind enough to tell you about the designs for Bucky’s new vibranium arm, she had asked for you opinions and what you thought he would prefer. It warmed your heart and had brought the two of you closer together.

Bucky knew you would be coming, he made sure his long hair was tied neatly, his heart racing as he heard steve approaching. He smiled, taking in a deep breath and checking himself out in the mirror one more time.

Steve knocked on the side of the hut twice, a smile on his face as he waited for his best friend to move aside the bright curtains. Bucky opened them with a smile, saying hello and pulling steve in for a hug.

“you know you can just let yourself in right?” Bucky joked, “wheres y/n?” he asked as soon as they pulled apart. Steve rolled his eyes, a playful smile on his face.

“don’t even care about your best friend anymore?” Steve joked and bucky frowned, “kidding, kidding, she was talking with shuri about something, should be here in a bit” he smiled at his friend a bucky nodded, moving so he could enter his little home.

You walked quickly, excited to finally be with bucky after two long months. You couldn’t stop the excitement that grew in your chest, heart racing as you got closer to him.

Finally you reached the hut, knocking three times before stepping away slightly, focusing your sight on the goats next to the huts. The sound of the curtains moving brought you attention back, making you turn your head back.

Bucky smiled at you, before he could say anything you threw yourself into his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“well hello to you too doll” he joked and you giggled, not bothering to let go of him. As you pulled away you beamed up at bucky, saying a breathless ‘hi’ before he smiled back at you, a charming smile on his face as he kissed your cheek.

The two of you walked in, hands intertwined as you joined steve the three of you falling into easy conversation, talking of your recent missions and adventures.

“no, yeah steve got his ass handed to him” you laughed, the blonde rolling his eyes and mouthing a ‘no,’ bucky rolled his eyes at his friend, knowing he probably did.

“so you took down how many people?” Bucky asked you, a proud smile on your face as you replied.

“eight guys” you boasted, “didn’t even break a sweat” you smirked. Steve and bucky looked at each other before laughing, bucky pulling you into his side, kissing the top of your head.

“you didn’t even leave your bed the next day from how sore you were!” Steve teased and you frowned, moving to punch him.

Bucky wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you into his lap. You landed with a huff and Steve grinned at you.

“you never get sore it’s not fair” you shot back, bucky resting his head on your shoulder.

Steve shrugged his shoulders, the three of you continuing to bicker and laugh until the sunset. You were leaning on Buckys chest, his arm wrapped around you as you rested your eyes. Steve and bucky reminisced on some fight they had in the 40s laughing at how minuscule the problem now seemed.

“I’ll leave you two for the night, it was good seeing you buck” Steve smiled, the three of you getting up from your spots.

“it was good seeing you too steve, glad to know you can still hold your own” he joked and Steve laughed, the two men hugging tightly before letting go. Steve turned to you, a smile on his face before moving towards the door.

“I’ll come get you in the morning” he called out, letting the curtains fall behind him.

Bucky let out a small sigh of relief and you looked at him, shocked at his action.

“i know you didn’t just let out a sigh of relief because he left!” You gasped and bucky blushed, turning to you before crashing his lips onto yours.

You melted into the kiss, letting yourselves get lost in the other. Your hands played with his hair, it was longer than last time. The two of you pulled away breathless, hearts racing.

“cant do that when he’s around darling” Bucky smirked, leaning in to kiss you quickly a couple more times, soft giggles leaving your lips as he beard tickled your face.

“still rude” you teased, placing soft kisses on his face as the two of you sat down, cuddled up as close as possible.

Bucky chuckled, looking at you with starry eyes and a bright smile. He swore you had never looked so pretty, sitting there with the moonlight peeking in and lightning up the small hut.

“stating is rude you know” bucky rolled his eyes, leaning in to kiss you, smiling into the kiss when you pulled him in for another.

“missed you so much doll” he mumbled, your foreheads pressed against one another, eyes closed for a second before pulling away.

“not a day goes by where i don’t think of you James” you sighed, heart sinking as you realized you would be leaving him once more in the morning.

Bucky noticed the shift in your attitude, placing his fingers under you chin and moving you to look at him.

“i promise you,” he mumbled, placing a kiss on your forehead, “once I’m free from all the shit HYDRA did to me, were gonna be together” he smiled at you softly.

“just wish it could come faster” you frowned and bucky nodded, a small smile on his face as he placed another kiss on your forehead.

“we have forever to be happy baby” he spoke, turning to you, “right?” you smiled, heart fluttering at his words.

“I’m yours forever lovebug” you assured him, moving to kiss his cheek.

“and I’m yours forever dollface” he smiled, heart racing the thought of a forever with you. Bucky wished he could fast forward and just be happy with you. But he knew he had to get through this, he just had to fight this final battle and he could be free.

Just one more fight and he could be happy, with you.

Morning came far too soon for either of your liking, waking up to the sun shining in your eyes. Your legs tangled with Buckys and his arm wrapped securely around your waist, holding you tightly.

“buck” you grumbled, wiggling to try and get out of his grip. You gave up when he never budged, waiting a couple minutes before trying again. “James” you called out, he moved a little, eyes fluttering open and landing on you with a smile.

“mornin doll” he mumbled, voice raspy and deep from sleep. He loosened his grip and let you wiggle out, stretching and letting out a yawn.

“goodmorning” you smiled sweetly, grabbing a couple things before getting ready. Bucky laid on his side, a sleepy smile on his face while he watched you get ready for the day, heart sinking a bit when he realized you would be leaving today.

“wish you could stay longer” he mumbled, his words weighed on your shoulders, causing you to slump a little and frown. You turned to look at him after you had finished getting ready, giving him a soft smile before sitting across from him.

“i do too angel, but you know how things are” he sighed softly, getting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“we still have at least two hours before steve comes, get up so we can enjoy the time we’ve got” you beamed, a bright smile on his face. Bucky admired that about you, how optimistic you were even in such an unfortunate situation.

Deep down you were upset, you were hurting and you were angry that the two of you had to go through so much to be happy. You shoved away those emotions, choosing instead to focus on what little time you had with him.

Bucky got ready quickly, giddy to get the day started. You helped him feed the goats, giggling as their fuzzy lips tickled your hand when you fed them.

“i named this one butter” he smiled, pointing a light colored sheep, “he’s kinda chubby” you teased and he gasped, a hurt expression on his face.

“i cant believe you come here and insult my goats, i raised them! they’re my children!” He teased and you rolled your eyes, walking towards him with your arms extended, he huffed, turning away from you. Laughing when he so easily melted into you after wrapping your arms around his waist, your head resting on his back.

“sorry for bullying butter, i am once again asking for forgiveness” you teased and he let out a low hum, you rolled your eyes. “I promise to not insult your goats-” Bucky turned around, brows furrowed and you groaned.

“i promise to not insult your kids, and i will give you all the kisses you want” you finished, arms crossed and bucky looked at you with a boyish smile, leaning down to kiss you.

It was quick, but it was sweet and made you swoon, smiling as he continued to pepper kisses all over your face. You yelped as one of his goats rammed his head into buckys leg.

“seems like someone wants your attention” you teased and he smiled, continuing to place the hay out along with a couple other things for them to eat.

The two of you were sitting along the bank of the river, sharing stories of what you had missed between your last visit.

“y/n!” Steve called out and your heart fell, a tight smile on your face when you saw the way Bucky’s expression fell. You squeezed his hand, kissing his temple before standing up, pulling bucky up with you as you walked back towards the hut, grabbing the backpack you had brought.

The two men talked for a bit while you gathered everything, double checking that you didn’t forget anything. You smiled as you rummaged through your backpack, holding the stack of letters you had written for bucky from the past two months.

You handed them bucky with a smile, apologizing for your handwriting in some of them.

“i already put yours in your bag doll, my handwriting is amazing” he teased and you punched him lightly.

The goodbyes always hurt, the way your heart tugged in your chest, like it was telling you to stay, that you were meant to be together.

You always ignored it, letting it only resurface at 3 am when your heart hurt and you longed for your soulmate.

Just this last fight, he just had to be truly free from HYDRA and you could be happy.

“don’t worry lovebug, I’ll see you soon” you comforted him, holding him tightly before letting go.

“see you soon” Bucky smiled, his heart sinking as you and Steve walked away, laughing when you turned around and waved at him, a bright smile on his face.

Before leaving you met with shuri, offering a couple more inputs on Buckys new arm before saying goodbye to her, she gave you a tight hug before letting you go.

You did see them soon. Although the circumstances were different. It wasn’t a ‘yay i get to see my soulmate and my friends and have a good time!’ visit.

It was more of a ‘oh god this purple guy wants some crazy crystals and is gonna kill half the universe with them please help’ kind of visit.

The plane landed and you greeted the royal family as usual, nervous as you followed shuri to her lab. Everything was moving so fast and your heart was in a frenzy. You had arrived earlier than the others, shuri sending a jet for you so you could be there when bucky got the arm.

You gasped as you saw the final product, a smile on your face as your fingers ghosted over the black and gold arm.

“shuri this is incredible!” You praised and she smirked, shrugging her shoulders.

“it’s what i do” she replied, closing the box before calling T’challa over so you could go give the arm to bucky.

“we think you should give it to him, explain to him what’s going on and all that” shuri spoke, T’challa and okoye nodding at her words.

“but-” okoye cut you off, her words gentle.

“it’s whats best for him” she assured you and you nodded, taking a deep breath as you waved goodbye to shuri.

T’challa and okoye accompanied you, a soft smile on your face as you saw him throwing the hay bales for his goats. Your smile grew when you noticed he had since gained two new friends, two cows laying down and one standing close to him.

“good to know you made new friends while i was gone” you called out, smiling as bucky looked at you with wide eyes. A smile on his face as you walked closer to him.

“doll!” He grinned, walking over to hug you as T’challa set the box down on a bale of hay. “what’s happening what’s going on? It hasn’t even been two weeks since last time” he questioned, looking at the two behind you.

“not that I’m not happy to see you but” he cut himself off, noting the fact you were suited up for a fight. You interlaced your fingers and sighed softly.

“c’mere” you spoke softly, pulling him along to the box. You have him a soft smile, letting go of his hand and opening the box.

He finally looked into the box, the shiny new vibranium arm gleaming in the sunlight. His heart fell. That’s why your heart was in frenzy, that’s why okoye and T’challa were so tense.

“wheres the fight” he spoke quietly, eyes not leaving the metal arm.

“on the way” T’challa spoke and he nodded. Okoye and T’challa left the two of you alone after explaining to bucky how to put the arm on.

You were silent, petting the goat you recognized as butter while bucky put the new arm on, changing into his suit while he was at it. Your heart ached.

One more fight, you had told yourselves for the last two years. Just one more fight and you could be together and be happy.

But the universe was cruel and decided to make the two of you wait longer, to put yet another barrier between the two of you and happiness.

it’s okay, after this fight everything will be okay

The words rang in your mind, letting out a shaky sigh. How bad could this fight be? It’s not like you hadn’t fought countless other villains before.

Bucky walked out suited and ready to go, though he was reluctant he knew it’s what had to be done. You gave him a small smile, shamelessly checking him out, not bothering to hide the smirk on your face.

“you know, under any other circumstances i would definitely not let you leave that hut” you teased and he blushed.

“I’ve only seen you suited up a couple times doll and it makes my heart face everytime” he shot back and you rolled your eyes, thinking back to when you and steve visited him immediately after a couple of missions.

The two of you walked hand in hand, getting a feel for his new arm as you made it to the plane, greeting steve with a smile and reluctantly saying hello to Sam.

You stood with bucky and Sam as you saw wakandas defenses go up, your mouth opened in awe as you watched it.

Not long after you saw something hitting it, breaking apart as it made contact and you and Sam flinched a bit.

“god i love this place” bucky spoke, watching alongside you and Sam. You heard Rhodey speak up not moments after.

“don’t start celebrating yet, we got more incoming outside the dome!” He called out, your eyes wide and you saw multiple things falling, planting themselves into the ground.

You let out a shaky breath, bucky bls your hand for a moment, squeezing it and kissing your temple.

“one more” he whispered and you smiled, nodding your head. “one more,” you repeated, hope blossoming in your chest.

You stood alongside bucky, looking back in awe as you saw all the hundreds of people, all ready to fight. Your stomach was in knots, your hands were shaky and you looked at bucky.

A small smile made its way onto your face. You would be okay.

“they surrender?” Bucky asked as steve, natasha and t’chalks returned.

“not exactly” steve sighed, you watched wide wide eyes as you all hundreds- maybe thousands of those things running towards the barrier.

You and bucky began shooting, taking out some of the ones which had made it through, sam and Rhodey already in the air. Your heart was thumping in your ears as you heard T’challa giving orders to open the barrier, bucky looked at you, eyes sparkling as he smiled at you.

“we’re gonna be okay, i promise doll” he assured you and you nodded, taking in a deep breath before taking off in a sprint alongside everyone. As the barriers opened, all of them got in, it was all a blur, shouts and groans coming from all around.

You shot as many as you could, making sure to try and keep everyone safe. You had lost bucky on the battlefield, everyone clashing. You didn’t have time to look for him as you continued shooting.

One of them knocked you over and you let out a groan, reaching for your ankle and swiftly stabbing it in the neck, cutting it open for good measure and rolling away before it’s blood could land on you.

You took the knife out, immediately throwing it and hitting one of them in the head and killing it before it could reach you. You were breathless as you continued to fight, running out of bullets.

“fuck” you whispered, eyes wide as you saw one of them running directly towards you. Scrambling to took one of your knives from a body on the floor, trying to throw it before the creature got too close. You were too late, by the time you turned around it had tackled you to the ground, sending the knife clattering to the floor.

You used all your strength to keep it from biting your head off, screaming as your limbs almost gave out.

You heard the sound of thunder above you, a bright light in the center of the battle field. You sighed out of relief when something hit the creature off of you, smiling widely as you realized who it had been.

Thor.

You got up quickly, grabbing another gun from the floor and laughing lightly when your eyes landed on the god of thunder, he was joined by a raccoon and some tree. You felt a weight lift off you shoulders.

“you guys are so screwed now!” Bruce cried out, joyous as he saw his friend.

“Bring me thanos!” Thor cried out, lightning emitting from his body as his eyes glowed, hitting the ground and electrocuting all the creatures around him.

You continued to shoot, frantic to try and minimize the number of the things on the field. It seemed like they would never stop coming, an infinite amount of them constantly bombarding you all.

The panic arose in your chest, you continued shooting, focusing on the endgame. You just had to finish this fight. You and bucky could get through this.

Your eyes were wide as you heard a deep rumbling, watching in horror as what seemed like giant spikey wheels erupted from the ground.

“fall back! fall back now!” T’challa cried out, your eyes searched for bucky, landing on him quickly and running towards him.

“y/n!” He called out, sighing in relief as he you ran next to him, stopping when you both saw wanda take some of them out.

“thought you were hurt” he spoke loudly between the gunfire, the two of you standing back to back as your shot.

“I could find you i got so worried” you replied loudly, glancing back and seeing a creature getting ready to pounce on the two of you.

“get down!” You yelled, pushing bucky to the ground and taking the knife he had strapped to his waist.

You reacted quickly, ducking slightly and thrusting the knife up into the air, the creature effectively cutting itself open, its insides pouring out as it flopped to the ground.

You helped bucky up and he smiled at you, in awe of your actions.

“thank you doll” he sighed out and you nodded, smiling for a second before going back to fighting.

“vision needs backup!” You heard over your earpiece, you and bucky turning to look at each other, nodding before taking off in a sprint towards the woody areas.

As the two of you arrived you stopped, catching your breath before realize how eerily quiet it was. Bucky looked over at you, concern on his face.

“‘M fine” you panted, wincing when you stood up straight, “just out of shape is all” you teased and bucky smiled.

“only you would make a joke while we’re about to face the most powerful being in the universe” he spoke and you smiled.

“if i don’t then who will” you shot back, walking quietly in search of the titan.

Your eyes landed on the rest of the team, running towards the titan and easily being thrown to the side, you and bucky ran together, raising your guns.

Neither of you even got a shot out before being tossed into the surrounding trees, wheezing as your back hit the trunk. You rolled on the ground, winded as you held your side.

Bucky recovered quicker than you, rushing to your side and helping you up.

“are you alright darlin?” there was worry in his voice and you managed a nod, moving to stand up, he threw your arm over his shoulder, helping you up.

You stood up with a wince, arms wrapping around him, holding him tightly and kissing his cheek before pulling away. You picked up your guns, handing one to bucky.

“ready?” you spoke and he nodded, the two of you ran to where you had last seen thanos.

Your heart dropped as you saw the mad titan snap his fingers, a bright light flashed before your eyes and bucky shielded you with his body.

When you looked back you saw his arm and the stoned sizzling, your eyes were wide and your lips trembled. No. No. this can’t happen.

“what did you do?!” Thor yelled, panic in his voice. Thanos quickly looked around, opening a portal and leaving into nothingness.

You walked over to steve quickly, bucky trailing behind you.

“Whered he go?” You spoke quietly, “where did he go!” You shouted.

“y/n?” You heard bucky say from behind you, steve and Thor looked over.

You turned your head, your eyes meeting with Buckys blue ones. The same baby blue ones you had seen on the highway, the same ones you saw on the helicarrier and when he found you after SHIELD fell.

It was the same bright blue eyes you would look into while cuddling by the lake when you visited him in wakanda.

They were wide, full of fear and panic as he looked at you and back to his hand as it turned to dust.

“bucky” you whispered, going to reach out to him, his legs turning to dust beneath him. You ran to catch him, wanting to hold him and tell him it would be okay.

You were to late, getting only a handful of dust as you reached for him. You felt your heart break in your chest, a pain you had never felt before. Falling to your knees you touched the ground, letting out a shaky breath and trying to calm yourself.

You shook your head, teary eyes as you watched those around you turn to dust.

“Sam!” You heard Rhodey call out. You could hear okoye shouting for t’challa.

You looked at steve in thor, hot tears in your face as you sobbed quietly.

You looked at your hands, ready for them to turn to dust, you could see the way they shook even through your teary vision.

A moment passed and nothing happened, you looked at your legs, expecting them to fade away but they never did.

No. No, not again. You shook your head, bringing your hands to your chest and curling into yourself.

“i cant lose him again” you whispered to yourself, “not when i was just getting him back, not when he was barely in my grasp”

You wiped away your tears as you heard natasha run to where Rhodey, Bruce, rocket steve and you were. You watched silently as steve flipped over visions body, your stomach hurt at the sight of it.

“what the hell is happening?” Rhodey spoke, looking around as steve let himself fall to the floor.

It was quiet as all of you looked around, natasha’s eyes landing on your broken expression. Your eyes were red, and you looked at steve, hoping he knew what to do.

“oh god” he let out, breathless as he looked around.

“I’m yours forever doll, no matter what happens” bucky smiled at you, his eyes bright as you bit your lip to hold back your smile. You handed him a gun, everyone around you running to get in position.

“and I’m yours forever my lovebug, we can get through this” you assured him, holding out your pinky as he quickly looped it in yours, bringing it to his chest and pulling you into his arms.

“one more fight” you whispered, the hope that you had wilted away, you grasped onto the flashes of the future you had seen.

—

taglist ! (send me an ask if you want to be added!)

@felicityofbakerstreet @newyork47 @classygirlything @ebxny27 @hhaydenn @miaangel24 @shawnie--jo @quinnmaddie @mugscraps @bucky-32557038 @marvelfansworld @hey-there-angels @buckys2thicc @groovyvalentine @daughterofthemoon92 @livetay84 @pearlruth @euphoniumpets @lady-loki-ren @pastel-boy-sungjae

[nxmuzluv]

ariana birthday hcs !! —

it’s september 1st in south korea & japan rn,,,, so you know what that means

26th birthday hcs 👁👁

(this post is long as hell so brace urselves lmao)

on the morning of her birthday, ariana is woken up by either twitter and message notifications or her husband

her fans are blowing up her mentions with birthday wishes and her family & friends are doing the same, so bet that she has about a million notifs

since byakuya gets ready for work before ariana, he usually comes back to wake her up (even if she’s already up lol)

he hands her coffee (a caramel macchiato with a shit ton of cream and three sugars), tells her “good morning” and “happy birthday, love,” and kisses her on the forehead

(SOBBINFGMNBKJHBMK)

they usually have a short lil conversation about whatever (what they’re going to do that day, ariana’s birthday, other random topics) before byakuya tells ariana to go to work lol

but before she does, she usually opens twitter and scrolls down her birthday hashtags (which are already trending with about 100,000 or so tweets lmao), and responds to her text messages

three hashtags i came up with are “#AutumnFairyAri,” “#26WishesForAriana,” and “#아름이하트27개” (#27HeartsForAhreum) 🥺

(the last one is because ariana is 27 in korea lol)

guaranteed that she’s smiling like an idiot at those tweets lol

if her fans are lucky, ariana might like their post. if they’re extra lucky, she might even respond-

(cue the combustion of her fanbase)

then she posts a lil morning selfie, thanks her fans for all the birthday wishes, complains about how she has to go to work on her birthday, and then she finally gets ready for work lol

as ariana does, her fanbase is literally in flames lmao they’re screaming at her new selfie (“LOOK AT HER HAIR OMG MNJSHFJFMNGJ” - one of ariana’s fans, most likely), flooding her comment section, and taking over the trending page

ari and byakuya usually leave together, and ariana gets dropped off first, so when she does, they usually say goodbye to each other & byakuya gives her another kiss on the head

ofc they say “i love you” to each other, and if anyone around them has sumn to say about it, then byakuya can just make their jobs disappear !! 😗✌🏽

once ariana gets to work, she’s immediately greeted by another round of birthday wishes and the occasional gift (because oh my GOD she gets so many from her staff)

the best gift comes from her manager of 22 years, yoo miyeon. that woman is literally like ariana’s second mother it’s so cute-

miyeon usually says something along the lines of “remember when you were shorter than me ???” (it is now the other way around lmao)

near the end of her day, ariana sits in her company’s conference room, goes live on vlive, and opens the shit ton of gifts, cards, letters, and bouquets that were sent to her by her fans (and god damn doesn’t she get a lot-)

(ariana loves the bouquets,,, she literally squeals every time she sees that she got another one :(( she’ll be making flower arrangements with all of them later on lol and she’ll probably go live again 👁👁)

her birthday lives are one of the things ariana loves the most. she gets to speak to her fans, speak to her staff all casually, and her fans get to see her again. it’s a win-win :))

(bet, byakuya is watching that live when he has the time and has sent a message to ariana. when she spots his message, knows it’s him, and gets incredibly happy is one of the best moments of the live)

she also speaks to her family (they’re all in korea and america while she’s in japan 😕) during the live !! near the end, ari blows out the candles of the cakes that were bought for her by her staff and her family, and she answers questions from her fans

(lol remember back in 2011 when ari’s fans thought she was gonna finish high school & come back to korea, but instead she met this tall blond mf, fell in love with him, moved in with him, and then ended up marrying him 10 years later so now she’s really not coming back ??? lmao good times 🤣🤣🤣)

it’s a v nice moment & if you miss it, that’s such a loss lol ariana rarely goes live since she’s always so busy

after well over 12 hours, ari’s work day is finally over. on those types of days, she gets home before byakuya at around 7 or 8pm

after work, both of them go to dinner !! :))

while byakuya is coming home, ariana just gets ready. there’s a dress from byakuya that was hung by his staff in ariana’s closet (it’s black and designer, ofc 🙄✋🏽), and all ari has to do is shower, do her hair and makeup, pick out her shoes, and pick out a bag from the literal hundreds that she has

say it with me, y’all !! bag hag

ariana goes live on instagram while she does that as some kind of “get ready with with me” thing. she gets to talk to her fans again (especially her stan twitter ones lol), ask how she should style her hair & do her makeup, and ask what accessories she should choose

she also plays music in the background (especially britney spears, christina aguilera, the pussycat dolls, rihanna, nelly furtado, gwen stefani, lee hyori, or hyuna because they make her feel hotter than she already is lmao) !!

and ari sings to whatever’s playing and she gets haruka-

(am i allowed to put her here ??? i’ll just put here here lol 🤪)

-to say hi & help with her hair and makeup, so ariana’s lives are just a gold mine worth of content lmao

byakuya comes home just a lil while before ariana’s finished, and ofc, she forces asks him to say hi to her fans

lmao all that man does is silently wave with the world’s straightest face, and the chat is just yelling about how fine he is (“GO OFF RICH BOY” - one off ariana’s fans, probably). like HE’S NOT DOING ANYTHINGFGDHMBK

but as they should 😩☝🏽

ariana asks her fans if she should leave or stay on the live for a while longer, and ofc, they usually say that she should stay,,,, but that woman rarely listens tbh ASMNKHJFMNJK

she might stay for like,,, 5 minutes, but usually, she just leaves lmao

a lil while before she and byakuya leave, they talk to each other and to haruka for a while, and haruka probably most definitely takes polaroid pictures of ari and byakuya before they leave lol

(ariana def posts those on twitter later and all byakuya does is retweet them)

(but ofc he’ll tweet out a post wishing his wife a happy birthday,,, okay byakuya, look at you making progress !!)

the restaurant ariana and byakuya go to is of course very fancy and luxurious (it probably serves french cuisine too lmao). ari insists that they get a table on the rooftop, and since it’s her birthday (and since he loves her sm), byakuya complies :))

they talk the entire night, and if she can, ariana reaches over to hold byakuya’s hand most of the time :((

(taking a bit from rae’s hcs on how byakuya would celebrate his s/o’s birthday,,,,, like i’ve kinda been doing the whole time 🚶🏽‍♀️)

after dinner, the two of them will take a walk through tokyo. ariana would love it (well, not really, because she’s wearing literal heels lmao), especially since she and byakuya rarely get to do things like that. she’ll be taking pictures of things she finds interesting and would 100% ask byakuya to take pictures of her (and vice versa)

(she’s posting those on twitter too,,, ariana nation is getting fed well lol)

and then they can finally go back home and stay home, and ariana can finally open the rest of her gifts !!

they’re gifts from her family, her close friends, and of course, from byakuya and haruka !! ari’s literally smiling the whole time as she opens her presents (especially the ones from her family,,, hayley’s homemade birthday cards are always so cute 🥺), and haruka has that polaroid camera out again

(ariana: does anything)

(haru: you’re doing great sweetie !! 😀📸)

idk exactly what ariana would want for her birthday (tmw you don’t even know the preferences of your own character 🧍🏽‍♀️), but most likely, it’s either something homemade or a designer item lmao (mainly another purse-)

fun fact: her aunt josephine spoils the shit out of her lol like ariana could see a bunch of bags from chanel, louis vuitton, and yves saint laurent and automatically think “yeah, that’s my aunt lol”

ariana facetimes her family again, as well !! they get to speak to byakuya and haruka, they sing “happy birthday” to her in korean, they ask her if she liked their gifts, and it’s just a very cute family moment :))

it’s like,,, 11pm by the time ari finishes opening her presents, so she really has to go to bed

before that though, she spams her followers with the pictures that were taken, and posts one last “thank you” tweet before her birthday inevitably ends 😕

(well not really since it’s gonna be september 1st in other parts of the world lmao)

“everyone! thank u sooo much for all the birthday wishes u gave me today! it wouldn’t have been such a great one without y’all, my family, my best friends, my husband (@ByakuyaTogami), and my no. 1 fan, my sister-in-law lmao (@harukaonice). i love each and every single one of y’all with my entire heart, and i’m so glad u love me just as much 🥺 i saw as many of ur posts as i could, and i just wanna thank y’all for reaching over a million tweets! can’t believe y’all think that i’m that important lol (i mean, ofc i am 🙄✋🏻) anyways, once again, thank y’all smmmm! love y’all lots!! <3 ari <3” - ariana’s tweet 🥺 (that she posts in four different languages lol; english, korean, japanese, and french !!)

(SHE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART IM LITERALLY CRINGHMNHJDJGKM)

then ariana and byakuya finally go to sleep (it’s like 1am now jesus christ-), and ariana’s twitter notifications are still blowing tf up lmao

n e ways, that ends this behemoth of a post !! happy birthday to my baby, ariana park and even though she doesn’t exist (😕), i hope she enjoys it to the fullest !!

bonus !!

if she has a public appearance scheduled before or on her birthday, if fans are allowed to attend, they sing “happy birthday” to her whenever they see her !!

like, she could be entering a building and they would sing it, and then she could exit a few hours later & they’ll sing it again lol

ariana’s just like, “babes, you already sang this to me earlier !!”

when it comes to her “more important” birthdays (although her birthdays are always important)—such as her 18th, 20th, or 21st birthdays—ariana will throw quite a big party. like there would be a bunch of celebrities and popular society figures on the list,,, it would be a whole spectacle that the average person could only dream of getting into lmao (like me, ofc 🚶🏽‍♀️)

when ari was a child, her parents would throw a birthday party for her nearly every year lol,,, and while they were living in korea together, they would have dinner with nearly their entire family, too

(she always got two cakes, too,,, like it’s just kinda tradition for the park family at this point lol)

since ariana and jungkook (from bts) share the same birthday, either one of them message each other to wish each other a happy birthday !! ari also sends him a gift, while jungkook posts said gift on twitter and probably fanboys,,, i have a feeling that he would be a fan of her and her dramas,,, as well as the rest of bts

(they have each other’s numbers because ariana is a korean celebrity and they’ve attended events together on multiple occasions,,, ofc she and bts know each other lmao)

and i forgot to mention, but haruka would totally watch ariana’s birthday vlive if she didn’t have practice or something,,, probably sending as many messages as she can & aggressively hearting the live lmao,,, that girl really is ariana’s biggest fan SKJMNNFJMK

i also forgot to mention that JH entertainment (ariana’s agency) releases photos from a birthday photo shoot that they did with her !! they have different themes every year and they’re always so cute :((

they’re also taken prior to ariana’s actually birthday, especially since she’s always in japan now lol (but like,,, how do people not notice her going back and forth between korea & japan sometimes-)

(also, big verified accounts and celebrities on twitter & instagram wishing ariana a happy birthday >>>>>)

(celebrity tingz 🤪)

n e ways, now i’m done !! happy birthday, ari ilysm <3

(the character of haruka togami belongs to @raes-ramblings, btw !!)

[strangeradventuresofp]

a deeper understanding (sokka x reader)

You sat up from a rough nights sleep, rubbing your blurry eyes. You slowly stood, being cautious as to not disturb anyone else, and made your way towards Appa, staring at you with his big eyes, earning a soft chuckle from your lips. You gently pressed your hand to his furry cheek after feeding him and turned your head to the side, to where the others were still sleeping. Creeping over to where Sokka lay, you knelt down and searched for the bag of food, finding a few pieces of fruit within the bag. Picking out a peach, you turned back around to find Momo sat in front of you, his ears sticking up at the sight of what was in your hand. You smiled.

“Be careful of the stone in the middle.” Whispering, you passed him the peach and walked past his tiny frame.

Strolling through trees and bushes, you tried to find the body of water that you remembered was not too far. After a while, you found yourself at the beach, but also found that you were no longer alone on this island. As you peeked around a tree, you saw a ship, with a red flag flapping high in the air. Shoot. Who were they and why were they here? You decided it wasn’t as important as getting back to the others, so you ran right back to where you had previously came from.

“Guys! Quickly.” Pant. “We,” pant. “Have to leave.” You breathed heavily as you collapsed into Sokka’s embracing arms. What you said had earned many questions from the others as you looked back, catching your breath.

“Y/N, what do you mean we have to leave? What happened to you?” Katara asked in a motherly tone, while Toph, Aang and Sokka looked at you with worried looks.

“There’s fire nation soldiers here.” You gulped as Toph knelt and pressed her hand to the floor.

“And they’re close.” She stood back up as Sokka disappeared from your side, only for him to reappear a few moments later, with his boomerang on his back, like usual, his sword in one hand and your spear in the other. You gently took it away from him, squeezing his hand swiftly before a flame erupting from the bushes.

The person who came through was a boy, older and taller than all of us, who wore a uniform of various shades of red lines with gold, paired with a ponytail and a scowl. You winced at the distinctive blemish on his face; a scar covering the majority of the left side of his face. His eyes were angry and vengeful, and pained. The older boy lunged at your bald friend, which caused Aang to -using his staff- hit him backwards with a harsh wind. You, Sokka, Toph and Katara focused the other soldiers who had followed the scarred boy through the greenery. You looked behind you at your arrow-headed friend in concern, and ran to help him, along with Katara, as the fire boy roared, shooting orange-yellow flames in Aang’s direction. 

You stood opposite the boy as Katara checked on Aang, a few feet behind us. He fired at you numerous times, but you managed to dodge each big blast, obtaining a frustrated groan from your opponent. He shot many more times, with hardly any care at all, and it was easy for you to avoid all of his attacks. As fire left his fist, you ducked quickly and swiped his legs with your spear, him landing with a loud thud onto his back. 

Sokka high-fived the blind girl after defeating the other soldiers, just between the two of them. He glanced over to you, watching you move so swiftly in complete awe. He felt his cheeks burning up just watching you.

As non-benders, you had always had a deeper understanding of each other. You were both from the Southern Water Tribe and your family had always been close with Gran-Gran. You had always took a liking to Sokka and were afraid whenever he spoke to you whenever you were little. He was a couple of years older and had always found you adorable when you got nervous around him.

~~~

Six years ago

“Gran-Gran! I made you a fruit pie!” You expressed as you rushed into her house, holding a colorful pie in your outstretched arms. You stood, waiting for her in the lounge area. Suddenly a familiar, dark, pretty looking boy came out from around one of the corners. He seemed about two years older than you, but you couldn’t exactly tell.

“Hey!” A brilliant smile appeared on his face, and you backed away towards the door, pulling the pie in towards your chest. You didn’t know him, but you had seen him before. He’s the one who -tried to- train the little toddler boys. You had watched him a few times, and had always felt bad for him as he never actually got anywhere with any of the children. 

“It’s okay,” he proceeded. “Are you here to see Gran-Gran? Do you want me to go get her?” He had a cute smile and dark skin. His eyes were a light shade of blue, like the sky in the early morning and he wore his dark hair in a short ponytail. His frame was larger than yours and although he was quite skinny, his arms were quite muscly. 

You nodded once, slowly, in response to the boy and watched him disappear behind the very corner he came from. He came back a few minutes later with Gran-Gran, standing behind her.

“Y/N!” Gran-Gran spoke happily, smiling at you. You held the pie out to her, grinning widely in pride. “Sokka, put this somewhere safe.”

A small girl entered the room behind Gran-Gran and the boy she called Sokka. She was about your age and she looked similar to Sokka, only she had beautifully long, dark hair which she wore in a long plait down her back with loopies around her ears. She smiled at you warmly, and you smiled back politely.

“Y/N, these are my grandchildren, Sokka and Katara. Katara is eight, like you and Sokka is ten. Since your parents will be travelling for a few days, you will be staying here, with us. ” Gran-Gran explained as you nodded. The young girl, Katara, moved forward to speak to you.

“Hi, Y/N! I’m Katara and I’m very excited to have you here with us for a while. I hope we can be friends!” She immediately hugged you, to which you were skeptical of but accepted nevertheless. You saw Sokka stood opposite you and as he caught your eye, he pulled a funny face, making you laugh, to which he smiled in return.

~~~

Sokka watched you intently, weaving in between each of Zuko’s attacks. It was pathetic really, how effortlessly you moved, how hard Zuko was trying. He was so proud of you. And he was proud of himself, as he should be. After all, he did train you personally after you had nagged him none stop for about three months.

~~~

Two Years Ago

“Come on, Sokka!”

“No, Y/N.”

“Please! What will take?”

He turned around to face you. “No. It’s too dangerous out there, you could get seriously hurt!”

“I’m more likely to get hurt when I don’t know how to defend myself!”

He looked away and scowled, knowing you were right, groaning. “Fine.”

After a few months of training, you and Sokka had participated in sparring matches against each other, like most masters did with their students.

“Sokka!” You called, confused at why he had walked out of one of your many practices. “What is wrong with you?” Grabbing his shoulder, you turned him to face you.

“You threw me around like a rag doll! I should have never agreed to training you.” He sat on a near bench, putting his head in his hands. “I’m just a failure.”

“Hey, don’t you dare even say that!” You sat beside him, cupping his cheek in your hand, looking into his eyes. “Everything I learnt was from you. Everything I did, I learnt from you. You’re a great fighter Sokka, and you’re only fourteen. I only wish I could be as good as you. You are amazing, I promise.”

Your eyes widened as you felt soft lips press against yours. Quickly, you felt him pull away and stare at you, a pink hue to his cheeks. You smiled and pressed your lips back against his.

“I am so proud of you.” 

“And I, of you, Y/N.”

~~~

The scarred boy growled, spinning his legs around to create a blazing ring of fire. You jumped, but miscalculated and fell on your back, blinking to see the boy stood over you, fire erupting once again from his fist, aimed at you. You closed your eyes, whimpering in fear, sweat dripping down your forehead. You heard a shriek of your name, followed another loud thud intertwined with two groans of different pitches. Katara, Toph and Aang helped you up, you clutching to them for support, looking over to the boy in red only to see Sokka lay underneath him. You scrambled to grab your spear as the boy smirked at Sokka and pulled his arm back. You threw your spear at the boy, managed to rip through his clothes and pin him to a tree just behind him, letting Katara cover his body and the tree in ice, so he couldn’t move.

“Nice one, Katara.” You smiled, running to Sokka to help him up. You grabbed your spear, smiling sarcastically at the tree boy.

“Nice try, ponytail.” You walked away and climbed up the side of Appa, being helped onto the saddle by Sokka, Appa ascending immediately after. “Thank you, Katara, for keeping him against the tree.”

“Hey! What about me? I’m the one who saved your life from the dreaded Zuko.” Sokka pouted at you, a few centimetres from your face, earning a giggle from you.

“Oh, Sokka! My hero!” You grinned, planting a smooch on his cheek, making him blush fiercely. You giggled again, pulling him into a hug. “Thank you.” Your face turned stern. “But don’t you dare ever do that again. In saving my life you could’ve lost your own. I would never forgive myself.”

“No promises.” Sokka grinned cheekily, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You two are gross.” Toph laughed and stretched her body out, crossing her leg over the other. 

You and Sokka smiled at each other as he put his arm around your shoulders gently, before you left another soft kiss on his cheek.

“So who was that guy, anyway?”

my masterlist (requests open!)

A/N : sort of an au where toph is with gaang in book1 cus i imagined book1 zuko but idc dude my love for sokka is too much to not make an imagine about him so i hope u enjoy and thanks to any1 who reads this ur an angel xo p

[just-castlevania-imagines]

My Thoughts on Castlevania S3

So I cant sleep, I've binged this series twice now & I really need to get this out. For context on me as a person, I am an LGBT+ WOC (specifically Asian & bisexual). Castlevania is my favourite game series + the reason why I pursued Game Design as my career. The show means the world to me & I thoroughly enjoyed s3 for the most part. I acknowledge the flaws & these r just MY opinions, they do not reflect the other mods intentionally in anyway.

The art + animation was so CLEAN. There was not one scene that did not take my breath away. The attention to detail was phenomenal I have no words to describe it.

Some of the best fight scenes ever just ridiculous, it's like john wick. The action is upped every installment + its just so CLEAN

The entire team puts so much time + effort Into making Sypha such an enjoyable badass it's so amazing. I am never disappointed with her, never ever.

The lesbians. Striga & Morana, god I wish that were me.

Isaacs character arc was so good. Like the budget really went to Sypha + Issac this season LOL

Sumi + Takka, they meant so much to me. I love them, I really do. I cant say I'm not hurt seeing them at the end. I'm actually very hurt, my heart aches. I never thought I'd get to see representation like that in a series that I loved but felt idk invisible to. LGBT Asians in a historical setting outside of Asia, it was just...a dream for me. I fell in love w/ them instantly & I think that's why I tend to over look their faults a lot.

But when you see yourself on screen in something you've dedicated years to & you're just finally seen its...its so hard. The last time I felt this full was Shiro from V*ltr*n and we know how that shit went down. Idk I'm happy for what I recieved, grateful even, for however short it was. I loved their characters, i love sumi + takka i just wish they got a better ending. They all deserved better

More info on Cho I really oof I could not have asked for more. This bitch was so extra & I love her

That music score, the sound design. Bruh I can't even with all this TALENT

I call episode 9 the Fuckening

The Portals to different worlds really confuses me but I am here for it, I hope it's just like an Easter egg to their future projects or that the writers were all high around then

I see u w/ that jojo reference, I bet you think ur all so slick

Hector's entire story arc, wtf was that? My guy you can't be like "Oh humanity is evil and stupid and eats shit" and then be that gullible I-ooof u frustrate me u beautiful boy. Like s2 implies he burns his family alive & I'm sitting here deadass like how the fuck did u even pull that off

The forgemasters being called pretty + their reactions were priceless

I want Richter Armitage to read me a bed time story

Trevor, Isaac & Sypha r just so well done this season

THE. HORSES. ARE. HEALTHIER.

Isaac rode a demonic purple unicorn around the world, he's my fucking hero

Alucard a confirmed bottom + bisexual thank u

The sex scenes were juxtaposed to the intense fighting but it felt awkward to watch but it was also very fitting in an odd way????

The dolls were hilarious

I learned a lot about toilet paper

The Judge being like "no kids run around in my village" is the equivalent to Mr. Mosby from Suit Life of Zack & Cpdy being like "dont u run in my lobby" AND I CALLED IT OUT AND AND WAS RIGHT

This show has taught me to never trust bald, old white men w/ interesting voices

Carmilla was just a hot ball of anger for the most Part & got annoying real fast, but that night robe tho. That was everything

I liked Lenore's character trope. Being that sweet innocent looking one, but shes really just this cruel evil bitch. Like everyone complains about Carmilla but at least shes evil to ur face until this fake bitch over here

Takka doesn't do mornings? Niether do I

Alucards wardrobe upgraded from deep Vs to fluffy Victorian Lestat cosplay

I really really want an empire run by 4 vampire sisters. Like I know they're all evil, cruel bitches but the sisterhood they showed for each other is such a goal. Women supporting women is amazing I just wish they weren't the fucking villains

A lot of my gripe is that all the rep I want & thirst for all falls into a negative category in some way/shape/form

This whole season feels more like a bridge to season 4. Kinda like a season full of fillers.

The ending hurts me I'm several ways, but objectively it is a haunting image and it really invokes so much on it's own w/o context backing it. W/ it tho, even more mindblowing and heartbreaking

Thank you so much for pronouncing Kolkata properly

I'm always blown away by character designs ur doing great sweety

The angel has the juiciest ass

Where the fuck is Cezar?

Aight I think that's all for now. If you got issues then come to me about it, not the other mods. But I'll let u know I will not tolerate racist shit (which I've gotten on IG already). I really needed to dump these feelings out. I stan Sumi & Takka, I love them and I'll carry all that on my own if I have to.

- Sincerely Mod Wall Chicken

[hiuythn]

do u have any krbk fics that u can rec? any favorites of urs! ☺️

you’re in luck bc i just made a rec list for a friend so i have this ready for you

also i’ve got over 200 krbk bookmarks on ao3 so feel free to check that out if you finish this rec list.

all (except one) of these are completed. they're in no particular order. i tried to find ones that are less known, bc idk how much you've read but i'm assuming all the popular ones are familiar to you. happy reading! 💖💖💖

Inevitable - Legendaerie - 8k - mature CLASSIC 'bkg thinks they've been together and kiri thinks he's still pining' TROPE. it's INCOMPREHENSIBLE to me why this doesn't have more fucking kudos!!! why!!!

Tiny Truths - Quirk Archivist (OneHitWondersAnonymous) - 4k - teen bkg gets de-aged. kid him reveals sth to class 1a, more imptly, to KIRI, abt some ideas about what it means to open a hero agency together. it's super adorable!!

Punch My Mouth with Your Mouth - QuestCat44 - 4k - teen bkg spars with deku more bc OfA is acting up and he's the only one in the know. kiri gets jealous but he's so good-natured that his jealousy is only bc he misses sparring/spending time with bkg. BKG, on the other hand, is worried kiri is mad for different reasons asdkjfhasdhfa

all according to keikaku........... - carolinaa - 8k - teen the title should already tell you how good this is. I LOVE JEALOUSY FICS WHEN THEY'RE MORE FUNNY THAN ANGSTY AND THIS IS SO FUNNY. kiri gets tired of deku being a pussy around todo and decides to flirt with todo to get deku jealous enough to do sth about it. bkg and todo are both horrified for VERY different reasons DHADSKDFHJS

doll me up - shizuumi151 - 6k - gen kiri gets turned into a doll by a kid's quirk and no one knows. bkg still ends up caring for him :’)

These Words Are Ours - deviance - 2k - teen soulmate au but bkg figures who's going to say his words before it happens, and honestly that's kind of the point. he's not the type to fall in love at first sight. he MAKES the choice to love kiri and that, my friends, is my kind of soulmate au.

all good things need sunshine - shizuumi151 - 3k - teen FLORIST KIRI. BKG WANTS A BOUQUET THAT SAYS  'FUCK YOU'

Flour Power - WingSongHalo - 26k - teen KRBK HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF A BAG OF FLOUR AND PRETEND IT'S THEIR BABY

feedback loop - bigstupidjellyfish - 1k - teen PRO HERO BKG GETS THROWN BACK IN TIME FOR A BIT AND MEETS MIDDLE SCHOOL KIRI AND HE'S SO SOFT TO HIM ASDFHKASDFJ. i am a big fan of bkg being a fan of kiri. i can't get ENOUGH OF IT. can someone give me more fics like this

mixed signals - bigstupidjellyfish - 2k -teen a short 'what if' fic where kiri and bkg went to the same middle school. bkg's still an ass but kiri's still his equal it seems, and is just as good as handling him as ever

Trash Goblin Finds Love - wrunic - 4k - teen COFFEE SHOP AU. BARISTA   KIRI GETS SICK ONE TIME AND BKG MAKES HIM SOUP AND FORCES KIRI'S COWORKER TO DELIVER IT ASDJHFS

Dreaming of a White Mocha Christmas - let_me_wander - 8k - teen ANOTHER COFFEE SHOP AU.  BARISTA KIRI AND HIS FAV CUSTOMER ;) GET SNOWED IN  

Something Warm - let_me_wander - 15k - teen YES FOLKS IT'S A A A ANOTHER COFFEE SHOP FIC, THAT'S RIGHT!! BARISTA BKG THIS TIME. also kr is in a band and writes a song for bkg asdfhksjd

Kneel - deviance - 7k - explicit idk if you wanted explicit stuff but this is pretty light sub stuff, they're not even properly together at the beginning, and there isn’t sex til the end. i just liked how kiri is the only one bkg would rely on for sth this private, and it's more emotional than it is sexual?

Everyone Knows That Cats Are Independent - PurplePersnickety - 39k - teen YET. ANOTHER. COFFEE SHOP AU. but also?? daemons?? katsuki's got a lionness, and kiri has a...i'll let you find out. anyway they become closer and closer and closer and the flirting is so fucking excruciatingly obvious but cute and sdkjfhasdjs it's such a queer experience like 'is he...no he cant be...but what if he did like me - no that's not possible. but what if?' and they get so domestic sometimes i swear i'm about to puke from how cute it is. this is my fav coffee shop au ngl

Broken Bridges - DeathBelle - 68k - explicit plot fic!! krbk loses touch after gradutation. kiri comes back from korea and starts to work together with bkg, dealing with a series of murders and MAN the action is 👌 easy to follow but it hits all the beats, has that Flow. krbk being a power couple will never get old!!

Of Ghosts and other Inaccurate Things - chezka - 56k - gen pretty sure you've seen this one around but STILL. BKG FALLING FOR 'GHOST' KIRI IS BEST. this au really takes FULL COMPLETE advantage of the fact that krbk CANNOT TOUCH and the yearning practically astral-projected me back into the my past life when i was a dung beetle that got crushed under the foot of an elephant. it hurt, basically. but it hurt so good. JUST LET BKG HUG KIRI!!! happy ending ofc.

Catching Bees - MonocerosRex - 2k - teen bkg has to pay his classmates compliments. class 1a hijinks. the krbk in this is short but it made me squeal sdhfkakjl

i'm going to the forest to kick my own ass - WannabeMarySue - 5k - teen TODO PRANKS BKG BUT UNLUCKY FOR HIM BKG IS COMPETITIVE AND ACTUALLY LEARNS SOMETHING

Hair Care 101 - overlymetaromantic - 7k - gen ASDHFASDFHAJKS KIRI MEETS BKG'S MOM BY ACCIDENT AND GETS HAIR HELP AND THEY TALK ABOUT BKG AND IT'S SO. CUTE. AND THEN BKG DYES KR'S HAIR IN THE SECOND CHAPTER AND THEY'RE SO BLUSHY AND SWEET I CAN'T!!

Sometimes We Fall in the Dark - timetoboldlygo - 16k - teen BKG TAKING PHOTOS OF THINGS FOR THERAPY. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT HOW YOU PHOTOGRAPH THINGS YOU TREASURE 👀👀👀

Corn Chip - smol_bird - 23k - teen I DONT FUCKIGN KNOW WHY THIS DOESN'T HAVE MORE KUDOS. IT'S LITERALLY SO GOOD. DEMON KIRI IS JOKINGLY SUMMONED BY BKG AND FRIENDS. THEY FALL IN LOVE. KIRI HAS TO LEAVE. BKG IS DETERMINED NOT TO LET THAT HAPPEN. HAPPY ENDING. WHAT ELSE COULD YOU ASK FOR

'cause i love you for infinity - multiclassmaps - 23k - teen SDHFADSJFASD DEMON AU AGAIN. THIS TIME IT'S KIRI THAT DOES THE SUMMONING. BUT WHY DOES BKG SEEM SO FAMILIAR??? WHAT CAN KIRI DO TO MAKE HIM STAY??

to the beat of your heart - drifting_i - 8k - gen BAND AU. KIRI WORKS AT A RESTAURANT AND SOMEHOW BEFRIENDS DRUMMER BKG AND BKG'S BAND CAN'T BELIEVE THAT KIRI GETS AWAY WITH HALF THE SHIT BKG ALLOWS HIM TO

Playing Favorites - vaporeon_ninja - 2k - gen AKSDJFHJADHFKA BKG GETS CALLED OUT ON HIS KIRI FAVOURITISM

(Not Quite) Proposal - imatrisarahtops - 783 - teen DRUNK BKG IS SAPPY WITH HIS BOYF

something worth remembering - bbuggs - 1k - teen DRUNK BKG AGAIN!!! THIS TIME HE DOESN'T REMEMBER KIRI IS HIS HUSBAND AND HE'S SO DISTRAUGHT ABOUT KIRI BEING TAKEN SDFJHSK

A Dragon's Hoard - chezka - 10k - teen kiri gets turned into a dragon bc of a quirk. LOVE HOW DRAGON KIRI STILL LIKES BKG BEST

Love Notes - PurplePersnickety - 5k - teen LOVE NOTES BKG LEAVES LOVE NOTES FOR KIRI IT'S SO SWEET

Define: Oblivious - PurplePersnickety - 45k - teen this is the second part to Love Notes, it's still updating BUT PLEASE CHECK IT OUT TOO BC KIRI DOES STH SO BADASS DURING PRACTICAL TRAINING I LOVE HIM I REREAD THIS NOW AND THEN JUST FOR HOW COOL HE IS IN THAT ONE CHAPTER. also the steady, careful way krbk define their relationship and bkg's demisexuality is so sweet, so good.

The Hard Easy - dirtbag - 4k - teen this one is pretty popular but i still gotta mention it bc. kissing lessons. KISSING LESSONS!!! i love how eagar bkg is askdfhks

Kitsune's Pride - kytrin, Mslead - 147k - explicit okay this was A DOOZY like i???? the plot???? the time travel and the oni and kitsune stuff???? bkg and kiri being badasses??? bkg wanting the best for kiri and angrily supporting him??? this was the first time i kept up to date with a fic when it was still updating and commenting every chapte,r i was so hooked. and ALSO like the authors have written SO MUCH more longfics like this like they have NOVELS and i REALLY rec you check them out like....bro idk how they do they have so much out already and i think and they're updating two more rn and i'm. their bitch tbh

Burden of Proof - kytrin, Mslead - 153k - explicit OK ONE MORE REC FOR THESE AUTHORS. burden of proof is so. so fcukign good. i have adhd and these guys have never one lost me even tho their fics are upwards of 60k. this fic has dragons, it has plot, it has growth and healing and found families and i WISH i could write sth this intricate.

Burger Kings - plantegg - 5k - teen stupid teenage boys being stupid. kiri blackmails bkg into going on a date asjdfhkdsjfakd

Worth a Thousand Words - awareoftheconcept - 43k - teen SDKJFHASKH THIS IS A GUILTY PLEASURE OF MINE I KNOW THE LACK OF COMMUNICATION TROPE IS OVERUSED BUT I CAN'T HELP FALL FOR ANGSTY KIRI AND OMG THE CONFRONTATION SCENE AT THE END IS SO. SO. SO MOVIE-ESQUE I HATE HOW LAME I AM. basically everyone thinks bkg is dating camie asdkjfhskd

Day 6: Fandom - PullingAllMighters, SweetBrew - 9k - mature bkg and kiri don't know each other until they're pro heros and only bc they start a competition to see who's better and they go to each other's signings undercover and develop crushes on each other and deku is an enABLER ASHAHAJFS

Scales Ain't The Same As Feathers - Julietwasanidiot - 2k - gen GOD THIS IS SO CUTE BABY BKG "FINDERS KEEPERS" A BABY DRAGON KIRI SKDHFHD but he thinks kiri is a chicken

Charades - orphan_account - 4k - teen this is just soft....game night....at one point bkg acts out a really romantic word for charades and he's EMBARRASSED SDJFHA. also kiri falls asleep on him and there's some hair stroking....soft...

Cranky-rishima - PurplePersnickety - 29k - teen kirishima is the one with nightmares in this one and he gets CRANKY and BKG has to be the one to reach out and i thought that was such a fresh reversal loved it

No Secrets to Success - kingdoms - 7k - teen THIS IS MY FAV!! MY ABSOLUTE FAV JUST BC I LOVE IT WHEN FICS MAKE PEOPLE GAPE IN AWE FROM HOW SOFT BKG IS WITH KIRI. also krbk forming their relationship outside of school in this au was so??? sweet??? it's just them hanging out together. ALSO KIRI IS SO GOOD AT POKING BKG'S BUTTONS ASJDFHASK

Built to Fall - bigstupidjellyfish - 68k - explicit pro heros fic. they had a bad breakup in third year and oh god the angst is QUALITY. DW THEY TOTALLY MAKE UP AND IT'S SO FCKN WORTH IT. bkg also got therapy so he’s a little more stable as an adult lol

A Name That You'll Remember - heronfem - 33k - mature bkg is a fail!villain. he fell in with the wrong crowd when he was younger. he doesn't actually do anything wrong. in fact, all of his 'crimes' are generally stopped by kiri and somehow all end up exposing corruption anyway, so he's actually helping. kids love bkg. he always makes sure they're safe before he robs a jewelry store or sth. somehow kiri ends up flirting with him in all their fights and bkg has no idea what to make of him. the public can't get enough of them

strawberry mango sweet - redriotinggg - 9k - teen it's just a really sweet smoothie shop au!!! it's good reliable fluff!! what else can you ask for!!

cultivating something so divine - redriotinggg - 10k - teen redriotinggg yet again, i love this au, it's vet!au and kiri is so good at loving animals that bkg hires him and they fall in love and it's also got some competency porn, as in krbk are hella good at their job like power couple ayy

Tension Reduction - acernor - 10k - explicit Kirishima is a massage therapist and Bakugo needs help relaxing.

Mistletoe? Mistletoe. - Tearsaresalty - 2k - teen class 1a keeps making bkg kiss kiri and neither of them really mind wow i wonder why 🙄

[eroticcannibal]

(1of4) Ok so kind of kink hour, kind of angsty, but do u think its possible 2 b, like, dysphoric but in a kink way? Like Ive got a kink of the lifestyle variety (nervous to specify what it is), that Ive had nearly my whole life, & I literally dont kno how 2 explain this feeling besides as social/physical dysphoria, but 4 kink stuff. Like all I can think of is that post that went around awhile back talking abt the difference between 'Identifying as a dinosaur' as a kid vs 'Pretending 2 b a

(2of4) dinosaur', & how I read that & was immediately struck by how much the 'Identifying as a dinosaur' description was spot on 4 my experiences wrt this kink. But I feel rly hopeless abt it a lot of the time. I kno trauma is a factor, but that doesnt make it better, & I would rather keep the trauma than b untraumatized & not have this kink. & it just feels rly crushing 2 b like, theres this way I feel, this way it feels like Im Supposed 2 B, & this overwhelming fear that Im Not. & I cant quite

(3of4) let go of the hope that that fear is wrong, but its obvs still sucky. Esp when the standard sort of comfort of 'Wanting 2 b a girl is a symptom of Being A Girl' doesnt feel like it rly applies 2 shit like 'Wanting 2 b a puppy/baby/doll/other headspace kink role', & the response is generally less than positive. At best I feel like I get vaguely ableist 'Im scared 4 ur sanity' type BS, & ur obvs rly cool abt kink stuff, so I guess Im looking 4, idk, sum hope, maybe? Or validation or smth.

(4of4) Sumthing 2 hold on2, 2 feel like this sense of how Im supposed 2 b doesnt have 2 b /erased/ 4 the fear that Im not 2 get better. That I can keep this kink thats so important 2 me & feel better abt the dysphoria that accompanies it, as opposed 2 the recommended 'Throw out the whole kink' approach my support system pushes 4. Idk, Im just hoping 4 sum hope, I guess? Feelin fragile n stuff & ur so nice abt kinks. Also sorry 4 so many abbreviations lol, character limit is not my friend.

Dysphoria can be over anything, the definition is just “ a state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life” so it can absolutely be in a kink way. (in fact I’d say I have dysphoria in a kink way in the sense that it severely negatively impacts me that I can’t practice most my kinks in my current situation)

I think a lot of people don’t realise just how much kink can be part of someone’s identity, but it absolutely can be very central, so it makes perfect sense that not being able to be open with it or explore it or whatever will contribute to negative feelings that are analogous to social and physical dysphoria.

I do wish the world were more accepting of kink as identity, it would allow far more space for people to just have feelings like urs without the shame. I really don’t think feelings like these are particularly unusual either, but talking about it can be a minefield.

Also honestly in my experience at least, getting better doesn’t mean losing kinks, even when they’re related. I think it absolutely can affect how u think about and approach a kink, I’ve noticed my approach to kink has become more positive and healthy the more I’ve dealt with my trauma, but I’ve not lost them. I don’t think that just throwing the whole kink out will actually resolve anything, that way lies further shame and repression. You can’t just turn a kink off. It will still be there. Better to work on how you can exist as you are comfortably than deny any part of you. Ultimately, what do you think your life would look like if you were truly comfortable? How can you get there? When it comes to your own identity and how your kinks interact with that, your own comfort is the only thing that matters.

Ur always welcome to talk about this stuff here, I promise u that.

[sternenteile]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by:  @battleshell​  ;  we all care blue, u do, i do, we all do tagging:  holy shit my whole dash because exorbitantly long memes are the BEST. i aint even sarcastic when i say that, i love this kind of shit. u GOTTA do it.

my muse is:  canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ he is in two fandoms, in fact. he is both a fan-favorite from super mario rpg, the very first in the line of mario rpgs we’ve gotten over the years, and a pretty popular smash bros. request. he even got a mii costume in 4 and a spirit in ultimate as a result of the love. he’s very beloved, to the point that i’d, even as a geno fan myself, deem him a bit overrated. why? b/c where is all the love for all the other smrpg characters!!! they are all good. i love them all. ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ i mean ?? i’ve met and seen many people who have/had crushes on geno so ??????? but i don’t think it’s like. that. ghfskjhgsg??? ]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ oh yes, he is undeniably very strong, both in personality and in battle. he is often seen as the level-headed straight man of the party in smrpg (which, in the case of my geno, is... semi-applicable LMAO), a star spirit with unwavering bravery and confidence. his in-battle stats are also pretty crazy, favoring geno as a glass cannon and enemy sweeper. he is also the only character in the game to have a move that will insta-kill any enemy besides bosses. well, and exor. idk why exor, but there ya go. needless to say, pretty much everyone in the fandom agrees that geno is a powerful mfer. why wouldn’t a literal, living star be? ]

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ as i mentioned before, there is no shortage of him being underrated in the fanbase. i’d even say he’s a little overrated. some people treat smrpg as ‘that game with geno in it’ rather than everything else it has going for it. i love star boye as much as the next gal, but pls appreciate smrpg as a whole. it’s such a vibrant game with a colorful world of characters to love. ]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. [ he is actually, completely central to the plot. the subtitle of smrpg is legend of the seven stars, which directly relates to geno’s core mission: to find the seven star pieces and restore star road. the rest of the gang had different ambitions, but they all ended up banding together over geno’s objective. one could argue he mostly is the exposition-granter and could be replaced with anyone else, but i feel he’s irreplaceable. smrpg would be so different without him, like it or not. ]

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ i wouldn’t say he is the protagonist, obviously, as that is very much mario’s spot. that being said, he is a pretty obvious deuteragonist for smrpg, given how much the plot revolves around him. he’s relevant to mario, for sure, as well as peach, mallow, and bowser. he’s relevant to many characters beyond them. he represents the fight for everyone’s wishes to be able to come true. he’s, uh... very relevant rofl. ]

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. [ the star spirits are somewhat known in the mario universe as entities capable of granting wishes, kinda like fabled gods with a tinge more evidence and reality to them. geno himself isn’t a known name, not like the seven star spirits of star haven, but his people are decently known. he, however, is not. ]

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ he is basically the epitome of ‘good’ until you overthink star society like i do lol. not all wishes can be granted, what constitutes as a ‘good wish’ is subjective, why some good wishes still can’t be granted anyway, etc. it puts him more towards neutral good with a dash of lawful and an undercurrent of chaotic, given his rebellion against his superiors. ]

How strictly do you follow canon?  —  i mean, it isn’t hard to be strict to mario canon when there isn’t that much of a foundation to work with anyway lol. it’s all rather simplistic until you get into the nitty gritty of it ??? that said, geno is built on a lot of headcanon. like, a lot a lot. star society and its rules for star spirits of his kind, his relationship with rosalina (a matronly figure), his relationship with the seven star spirits, the fleshing-out of his basic personality traits shown in smrpg, etc.? headcanon upon headcanon.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  a star possessing the form of a children’s toy, like toy story but with more cosmic pew-pew. a chill and sassy guy still learning the ways of how earth (and other planets) work on a more intimate level, meaning there will be lots of adorkable moments as this curious one makes discoveries. sometimes attempts to innovate with what he learns to be ‘ahead of the curve’, leading to interesting results. (he likes to sip bubble tea, but replace the tapioca pearls with star bits. good result. mopping a counter-top because it would be ‘more efficient’? not-so-good result, got him lots of stares.) straight outta the 90′s, so be ready some of that rad 90′s slang and know-how from back in the day. (what do u mean they’re bringing back dunkaroos? that’d mean they stOPPED MAKING THEM?!?) very intrigued with new technology, became stuck to his smartphone upon discovering them, fell into the time-sink that is animal videos on youtube. he’s humble and likes to relax, have a good time, and relax w/ the squad. video games, netflix binges, the whole nine yards, he’s gotchu. he is a hell of a fighter and loves to fight, as well. help him push his abilities, and he’ll help you with yours.  likes being a little shit for fun, only to an extent (harmless moments of impishness, not serious, hurtful pranks). has a sense of humor that is easy to tickle, even with stupid dad jokes and classic puns. the brother-friend that will fire lasers at ur enemies for u. likes to play violin. cute. super cutie. v. tiny in his star form. almost five whole feet of sparkly, twinkly fun. likes super soakers.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  despite intrigue to learn more about the world around him, there is only so much that he does know. societal norms are often beyond him, and there are just so, so many earth hobbies he is not aware of. without handing him a bone, it makes him a little more limited than someone who’s more savvy. he is prime slice-of-life material, but that may also make things rather dull in an rp without an extra twist to spice things up. (thankfully, his being a total SNOT sometimes helps with that.) in canon and strictly in canon, geno doesn’t really have much personality, something that this geno has plenty more fleshed out. a good chunk of fandom finds him to be incredibly boring and droll, to which i personally disagree, as there are little things in smrpg that hint towards him having more to explore.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  funnily enough, seeing smash bros. fandom railing on geno fans + hyping him up all at the same time made me revisit smrpg after having only played it as a teenager. i expected geno to be a boring slate of nothing like fandom often portrays him, but i found that i was terribly wrong. with a newfound perspective on him, noting little details that defied my expectations for this li’l guy, i decided to give him a geno whirl and see what kind of expansion i could do with his character. the amount of lore i came up with him and started wondering about piled on and on and on, and i realized that he had so much more potential than what nintendo and square properly tapped into. (some of it is also a matter of being timely, though, meaning later mario materials such as rosalina, star haven, etc.) i wanted to flex out that potential and see how much i could fill this little doll up with, and lo and behold, i rp him today with extensive amounts of development poured into him with love. to put it simply, there was so much untapped potential that i wanted to share with the world, to show geno the love and in-depth exploration that he deserved, to show that he was more than what he was given.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  chattering about mario lore with pals, whether it relates to geno or not, reading, watching shows or videos that remind me of him, learning more about cosmology and the universe we live in (and boy, i’ve learned a lot of neat stuff!), revisiting my childhood (the 90′s) since it’s very geno-appropriate, drawing The Boye, literally anything to do with playing, watching, or doing ANYTHING with smrpg/paper mario 64/smg1&2, and probs a lot more. i’ve got a lot of fuel in me for this guy lol.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ on one hand, of course i hope that i do! on the other hand, i mean... nintendo and square don’t do jack for him, so i think almost anyone can do him more justice than they have, lbr. it’s... not hard... :’) ]

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? [ ok i gotta just copy-paste what blue said in her response because my god, she nailed it: “you know when you have a concept and in your own mind you can see it clearly, without fuzziness or confusion, but you can’t seem to put it clearly into words without it turning into an essay because you need to connect all the other points that’s in the single concept you envisioned? yea.” basically, this but in spades, because i have a huge amount of headcanon and lore that i’ve either not gotten around to writing about yet or am purposefully staving off (wink wink). i have written a lot for him, though! it’s just... comparatively so little to what all i’ve thought up over-time. ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ not! often! enough!!! ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO [ all i know is fine dining, breathing, and adorkable starman. ]

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? [ funny enough, i’m pretty damn confident in my portrayal, albeit still very modest. i mean, i am at least confident that i give depth to a character that had so little, and i feel like geno is just... real. (not literally ofc i mean like, he FEELS realistic.) he’s got character perks, character flaws, strengths, weaknesses, personal issues, ongoing obstacles, relatable themes where appropriate, interests, knowledge (or lack thereof), daily routines... i could go on. if nothing else, i at least feel good about trying to make geno feel less like some exposition character and more like a person. considering he wants to achieve personhood that most of his kind never gets to find, it’s oddly poetic lmao. ]

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. [ eehhhhh. i mean, i guess it’s fiiiIIINE, but i often feel like i lack a certain pizzazz, something that’ll keep people interested and intrigued with what i write, giving enough material for them to adequately bounce back. on the same token, i like to babble with my prose, so i often worry about going on and on and on way too much. stale, quantity over quality, substance-less writing is what i fuss over the most. ;; ]

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA. [ sensitive to empathy and other peoples’ emotions, yes. i’m an insanely empathetic person, and i have a lot of love to give. that said, with only few exceptions, i have a pretty iron-clad skin. sometimes, i daresay it’s to the point that i often misjudge what other people can take, and i feel i can end up being too harsh and forward. that being said, it is also a good thing at times. harsh or not, if i feel a certain way about something, i make that shit known and i make it known as loud as it necessarily should be. i don’t beat around the bush; rather, if i have a beef, i will make that beef known. consequently, if i have love to give, you damn well better be ready to swim in a pool of hearts and your favorite kind of cookie (if applicable). ]

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  as long as it isn’t complaints with lack of substance/reasoning, yes! even if i may not always agree and may take things with a grain of salt, i am insanely receptive to criticism, even over the pickiest things. it’s something i’ve grown used to due to prior rp venues being particularly harsh. i will never throw a fit or act like a child if there is something i could do better with geno. in fact, there always will be! i’m not perfect, and i love to hear about ways i can improve and do better. it’s paramount in a hobby like this.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  LET’S-A FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  sure, i’d love to know! it can make for some neat conversation!! c:

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  that’s a’ight. i’m sure there are things about my geno that won’t resonate with everyone, especially given he’s a very sentimental character for old fogies like me lol. as long as there is no disrespect thrown this way, it’s all good. this stuff is subjective, after all.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  oh, a lot of people really hate geno lol, but i’m guessing this means personal portrayal only. in such a case, i would be curious as to why, admittedly, but i acknowledge that i am not owed anyone’s reasoning. if they really, absolutely hate my geno, then it’s their prerogative, whether they want to give a reason why or not. again, it’s all good unless immaturity and disrespect rears its head. i won’t tolerate that and will ignore any such behavior.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  sure, it happens to the best of us!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  i’d like to think that i am! i’ve often had people tell me that i’m very nice and mature, but of course, i have no right to say how i come off to other people. that is not in my territory to judge, only theirs. that being said, it’s not easy to upset me or anger me, and i’m more often willing to listen and pal around than not. i’m the living embodiment of (shrug). i am just (shrug).

[i-love-him-on-purpose]

the half of it liveblog

LET’S GO I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SINCE MARCH hi. my name is abby, and this is me watching the half of it

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

i have big gay expectations for this movie

as an asian wlw, i do NOT want to be disappointed

starting NOW

fuck YES this animation is beautiful

plato. this movie is already calling out my dumb gay ass

they did really good casting with ellie! imagine having a movie with high schoolers that LOOK LIKE HIGH SCHOOLERS

chugga chugga chu chu? SQUARE UP BITCH

OMG paul and ellie’s first meeting is iconic

“i’m not looking to cheat” “no one is”

“gET a thESaURus uSE a speLLcHecKer gOOd luCk rOMeo”

this is an accurate representation of hold times istg

IS THIS A MEET CUTE?!

aster looks so tired but wowowowowow she is hecking beautiful

ellie is a disaster gay

exhibit 1: staring at aster in band

exhibit 2: “i’m ellie chu?!?!?!”

exhibit 3: more staring in the hallway

staring/longing is the peak gay experience

she is FINALLY charging acceptable prices for writing

i’d ask $15 for two page

maybe she just loves writing

can’t relate

“SHE’S LIKE ALL THREE” paul you eloquent mf

he’s a ROMANTIC... but so bad with words omg

“yah my grandma’s dead wanna go out with me”

“love makes you screwy. don’t you get screwy?”

istg you dumb jock ily

in love, one always starts by deceiving oneself... and ends by deceiving others

PAUL OMG

i LOokED uP PLaiGiAriZed

...

wow i had to stop for like 8 minutes there to properly watch their letters play out

the way alice wu spins this story is absolutely gorgeous

aster and ellie are so in sync and understanding of each other

the art, the words, the letters

everything just meshes together perfectly and i’m already in love with their story, whether or not there’s a happy ending

oh ho ho... paul....

no but he’s totally right

dating is burgers and fries and ice cream and whatnot

love is what ellie and aster have been doing– the talking and the listening and the understanding

smithcorona ahaha

“i love... nazis” paul you good there

oh honey you understand nothing

LMAO i love how ellie’s riding away on her bike and paul’s just bent over in the background PERFECTLY poised to pick up a rock

YES! jock + lesbian friendship

“hi ellie chu’s dad” has the same energy as “mr. jack’s dad” and “mr. sir” if u know what i’m talking about (check, please! mutuals hi)

yeSSIR yeSSIR

i love how paul just treats this like drills he has to run

jocks, man

PFPDFSLDKJF HE GOT FASTER AHAHAHA

why do neither of them know how to play ping pong istg

i love one (1) girl that laughs at horror movies

omg my anxious ass would be terrified if i thought someone was watching me

oh, i thought that line was about aster

but it still makes sense in a friendship way

and this IS a friendship movie so it does make sense

my coward ass would’ve never brought a boy home in high school

especially not to my enthusiastic italian father

besides i only ever dated one person and she was a girl and i hadn’t come out to my parents yet

kudos to ellie

oh i just realized that aster’s christian

does that influence her views on lgbtq?

probably

oh, ellie

watching that made me tear up

god, falling for someone who doesn’t know that you’re you

this english teacher is fckin hilarious

and also totally not a romantic lmao

OMG FATHER SHANLEY

AHAHAHAHA

“world’s asleep. more room for secrets”

now THAT’S what love feels like

falling in love with the little things

wait he doesn’t say “you like aster?”

THEY SCAMMED US

...does he support her or not

paul munsky say something

oh he realizes that he doesn’t know what love is not that ellie likes aster

“if love isn’t the effort you put in”

i love this friendship and paul’s quiet wisdom

oh boy there are weird chewing noises

TACO SAUSAGE!

aww paul’s a romantic and ellie’s hilarious

seeing “guy” makes my heart hurt

aw ellie have a little faith in our dumb jock <3

this is so cute and super awkward

i feel like i did this at some point in high school

OMG PAUL WHAT ARE YOU DOING

what just happened

awww he’s so enthusiastic

bitch what the fuck is “a look”

CONSENT

wtf is this a fucking rave

WTF ARE YOU BITCHES DOING

are high schools like this now??? is everyone fucking horrid?

yes girl play your song

wait a sec can they all hear her without a mic

she wrote that? that’s so sweet <3

awwwwwwww

but that’s so cliché

it’s literally high school musical

oh boy now she’s POPULAR?

i love their friendship so much

OOP

awwww I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP

omg what? shoes in the house? shoes ON THE BED? DISGRACE PAUL MUNSKY

jk him caring for her is literally so cute

i’m glad we can have that platonically

she did that for him? aww

the way she spits out the advil is hilarious

OMG ASTER?!?

i bet she thinks ellie and paul are dating

oof

“it’s paul’s chinese friend” who the FUCK do you think you are? STEP THE FUCK UP KAREN

oh it’s the daisy!

it’s gorgeous

i feel like aster definitely suspects something

OH THEY’RE SPENDING THE DAY TOGETHER

i have no idea what she does at the station?!?

“SECRET PLACE” oh lawd

aster definitely knows it’s ellie

i wish i had a secret pond

but alas

i am just a poor city girl

ellie is a disaster gay and i am living for it

LONG UNDERWEAR ellie is prepared for all situations

paul is so sweet that’s adorable

“i don’t think i’ve ever hung out with a girl and not talked about boys before” the GAY is showing and i love it

but love isn’t about feeling safe

it’s about feeling adventurous but being safe

you’re in HIGH SCHOOL why tf r u thinking about marriage?

oml don’t get married to trig he’s a fucking idiot

i lowkey thought they were going to kiss

and then ellie “i am a RUSSIAN DOLL of clothing!!1!1!”

sdlkfjsdlkf

AHADHSFDSJFLDSKFJLESKF PAUL LOOKS SO NERVOUS

when my asian mom did this, my white dad would look just like him, even after literally decades of marriage

WOAH the visuals

just... two people looking at the same sky

so intimate

“gravity is matter’s response to loneliness”

that’s so deep but all i can think of is r/showerthoughts

just two girls discussing their deepest beliefs and secrets in a spring

i would like to do that pls

lmao ellie’s dad and paul are besties now

oh

oh ellie

COLLEGE you deserve to go to college!

omg aster and paul’s height difference

paul’s siblings are hilarious lmao

SLDKFJSDL “A BUNCH OF GUYS SNIFFING EACH OTHERS’ BUTTS” is maybe the most accurate description of high school sports

guess all that running really paid off paul

“squahamish scores for the first time in 50 yrs” i-

ellie trying to finesse the yakult is the funniest thing

what the FUCK just happened

what

what

what

that was like watching a train wreck in slo-mo

paul WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

WHAT THE FUCK

dkjlsfdksjlfkldsjf

i have zero words.

...trig

is he ok

who sprayed him? was it paul or ellie’s dad??

oh god literally all three of them are ruined

paul! he’s trying! and that matters!

he’s been taught to condemn it

but he supports his friend first and foremost

so he tries to understand and accept it

...oh no paul’s mother

ellie looks so sad :(

ugh i’m crying

she had to grow up too quickly because of her mother’s death

“have you ever loved someone so much you don’t want anything about them to change?”

i’m so emotional

SKSKSK “i had to grind something” homophobic mother looks up

the fuck is “little lady”

oh i get it he’s proposing

trig is literally the human manifestation of microaggression

ASTER DON’T DO IT

ELLIE?!

the painting metaphor is back and i am not ok

AND I OOP- she slapped him ok ok ok

“mommy wants you to know that in case you are gay, mommy still loves you” “no mom i’m not gay” “thank god” “i might want to change your sausage recipe though” “are you INSANE?” THIS IS AN EXACT PARALLEL to when bitty came out and mama bittle still loved him but then the JAM (hello again check please mutuals if ur still here ily)

lmao the english teacher “now that is some divine intervention” she is neutral evil and i am LIVING for it (bet she’s wlw too)

“you don’t mean dead, right” SLDFKJSDL

“love is messy and horrible and selfish... and bold.” -ellie chu

that’s fucking beautiful

aster looks... so tired

COLLEGE YES SHE’S GOING TO COLLEGE

i have no words i just want to watch this and cry

they kissed.

they KISSED.

“i’ll see you in a couple of years”

i love that they don’t end up together

that they know that they should wait, that it’s not their time yet

because love is “the trying, and the reaching, and the failing”

ellie looks so happy

she’s comfortable in her own skin

FINALLY

she deserves everything

omg the emojis slap

her dad’s conductor? station master? idk but he’s working again and i’m so proud of him

is paul seriously giving her sausage

lmao

“too smart to be crying on the platform like a wussy” “i’m not crying” “wussy” underrated exchange of the year

paul chasing after ellie on the train is so sweet

i’m sobbing

“moron”

ugh

she looks so content and i love that for her

that’s the end

if you made it this far, congrats! 

overall 10/10

it’s such a sweet movie it’s well paced, well written, and well shot

time to go see if there’s any fic

bye!

[dxmagedrose]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER!

Tagged by: my lover @hammurabicomplex​ I’m tagging: anyone and everyone who wants to pick this one up! share with the class if you feel like it! tag me in it!!

PRESENTING. RANDOM DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO-MUN AT 2AM ;

FIRST NAME Good fucking question… It’s (sort-of) currently Dylann! I was Kieran before that, though; it’s still used as one of my first names and I’m not used to Dylann quite yet bc I’ve just started using it. 

Indigo is one of my middle names though, and I’ve used it as an online handle elsewhere forever so I use it here now!  [ Fun etymology facts: Dylan(n) is a mythology name generally meaning “born of the wave” (aspiring diver & a water witch at heart). Kieran means “little dark one” bc of my love for horror, && I chose Indigo bc as a kid to be it was neither boy (blue) or purple (girl) and was both and neither as well as my absolute favorite color as this vibrant ass mystical color. ]

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF hmmmmm…. I’m a horror lover at heart, so as a child (I wanna say 12), I was walking through an antique store (I have a few cool finds, I considered putting my other one as the fact tbh) and I turned the corner and I saw these two dolls staring back at me at the foot of the stairs of this antique building. my blood froze, and i felt my stomach drop. i got actual, physical goosebumps stumbling across these two creepy dolls staring back at me in the corner, and i couldn’t leave the store without them. perhaps the little painted porcelain boy would be somewhat spooky by himself if it wasn’t for the terrifying lidded gaze of the porcelain girl with the hairline fractures and slightly open lips. i cant look at her. i dont really find dolls scary, I like to find the spookier ones ones, and she makes me paranoid as hell. i keep her face covered and her up in my closet except for when i bring her out to show her off proudly as the spookiest thing I have but……. i dont really collect dolls anymore.  even thinking about her brings a fearful tear to my eye.  i don’t like to think about her for very long, but that’s why I’m so fucking proud to own her. ( YES — I’m THAT white person in the horror film )

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hhhhh a beardy jawline, high cheekbones, crooked canine teeth >:3c

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF b.l.t.’s with avocado. ahhhh. my mouth is watering just thinking about it, oh my god. just a bit of salt and pepper???

A FOOD YOU HATE barbecue anything, i hate the taste of bbq sauce, you keep your nasty black goo to yourselves at the grill. twice in my life i have presented with barbecue pizza and both times i cried literal tears. why would you do such a horrible thing to a person? what kind of a monster are you? how do you sleep at night?!

GUILTY PLEASURE the sims. constantly. always. i’ve sunk thousands of hours into my households. oh also uhhhhhh i run two 80s horror blogs, one being a shitpost blog with occasional art of mine and one gremlin fanfic ship blog for horrible, terrible self indulgent fanfics i’ll get the courage to finish writing & post so i can be cancelled on tumblr for at some point. NO, i won’t link them. as i pretend they’re even all that hard to find, within a day i was found on both by someone i admire here a lot :’) ilu bby thnk u eternally for supporting ur local horrifying dumbass wtf

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN the same clothes i’ve been wearing all day usually, my sweats & long sleeve raglans or my hoodies. i like being cozy day & and out. and ugh. efoort. just throw me in a blanket in a cool room and im out.

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships with some openness or poly. i wish i could fling! just not exactly easy for demisexual autistics lmao.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE I think I would be adopted by my grandma as a kid. It would save me some trauma but mostly I think it would get my autism diagnosed way earlier and save me angsting all these years of wondering why & thinking it’s my fault I’m struggling so much and so loud and affectionate and different in a world that i didnt fit in the same way. 

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON when i get drunk i text people how much they mean to me in my life. does that answer your question? ahhh. i’m sometimes a cuddle monster with friends, i message people with long texts about how much they mean to me, but I sometimes really don’t like to be touched at all. 

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN FLYPAPER.  F L Y P A P E R.  FLYPAPER.  FLY, and, I can’t stress this enough, fucking PAPER. ( Though also Whole Nine Yards and both Re-Animator & Bride ). I have watched Flypaper already like, 5 times this week and I’m still not done, and the other movies have been on repeat for days in this household within the last year. In the past it has also been Donnie Darko & the new Nightmare on Elm Street.  roast me.

FAVORITE BOOK White Fang by Jack London. Have I actually ever finished it? No. Do I still own a copy I’ve had since childhood thru multiple dogs eating it, taking it to and from school, and highlighting and circling all the best parts of chapter one ever since I was a kid and it was too hard of a book for me to read? You bet your ass. If I ever need inspiration I just reread chapter 1. Although one of my other favorites was Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes. But White Fang is like, a weirdly personal text. We stan London’s writing in this household.

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE FENNEC FOX!! I used to daydream about having my own named Shiloh when I was a lil kid. they’re adorable little things and i am obsessed. i mean, gimme any fox and im happy, marble foxes, red foxes… but I was obsessed with fennec foxes. Also tbh ferrets. I want a ferret.

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] Rosa & @ninetyscnds‘s Luke, Rosa & @iimpulsivity is already screaming my name, Rosa & Constantine, Jesse & Andrea from Breaking Bad, and the joker and harley of 80s sci-fi Dan & Herbert from Re-Ani.  I am but a simple opossum. 

PIE OR CAKE Pie! I’ll take both pumpkin & melty apple over cake. also, cheesecake is more pie than cake soooo, pie wins.

FAVORITE SCENT my dogs / my blanket. :’)  It’s the most grounding smell in the world. 

CELEBRITY CRUSH oliver jackson-cohen, i’m fucking GAY and im angry about it. there i was, minding my own business, and i saw that asshole in a certain SHIRTLESS GIF and it AWOKE SOMETHING IN ME. dont talk to me about it, holy shit im obsessed with beardy men now god fuckkdafjaask i hate him why did he make me this gay i was perfectly fine being into girls but NOOOOOO him and his dumb hairy chest and sweet rugged face and I——  I also am obsessed with the archaeologist & television personality Josh Gates and may or may not be considering making a fan blog for him bc idk if my anthropology docuseries host is Dad or Daddy but i love him lots

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I would go on a dive with anthropologists and archaeologists doing fieldwork research in the ancient cenotes of the Yucatán Peninsula. My actual dream job, catch me crying & fantasizing about being underwater documenting Mayan skulls given as offerings. Fuckkkk, I love anthropology so much!!  take me anywhere in the world to immerse myself into culture & archaeology.

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Introvert. I have a real life friend I see roughly once a month, and that’s it. Plenty of online relationships, I’m chatty, message me all day every day. but i dont do people well.

DO YOU SCARE EASILY I used to! Really bad. I don’t as much anymore. I do get paranoia a lot still. Having therapists telling you that the FBI could be outside your house watching you through your windows will kind of nervous. ( no google results for: yes hello fbi i am a writer please dont put me on watchlists i just have research i need to do for this idea im working on, would you like to try again? ) I have nightmares nightly but not they never make me afraid, they just make me feel like crap. jumpscares and loud noises and seeing people reaching into their pockets dont set off as many brain alarms anymore tho!! progress haha.

IPHONE OR ANDROID I like my android better bc of capabilities but meh

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES My mom, her husband & I play COD for family game night, and Silent Hill is my life’s blood. I’ve sunken hours into Sims & Skyrim, and Norman Jayden from Heavy Rain is my #1 fictional character in existence, why do i love the druggie babies

DREAM JOB Oh… You’re asking me to pick? I’d love to be an anthropologist doing work out in the field. Underwater archaeology is peak, but I’m also heavily considering being a body recovery diver or police diver. I’d love to see myself in uniform someday, if possible. Just the thought makes me teary eyed & proud.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS fund my person creative & educational endeavors. get myself a spooky ass abandoned house to make my own home to create in, and travel to the world’s best dive sites. just live a mild life of education, creation & exploration. that’s the dream TM.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE dr. hill is a gross and whiny lil bitch this post brought to u by the miskatonic crew, how is everyone here an even worse bad guy than herbert west precious dan excluded talk shit get hit tho john winchester from spn and both walter white & todd from breaking bad are all in my crew of hated characters. i jusT…   the reani novel is difficult to read because i have to deal with this old sack of shit.

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER Supernatural :-)

… AND THIS CONCLUDES A DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO!! //

[buckymcbuttfacebarnes]

Devotion

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 3300

request: this has been done a few times but i really want ur take on it and a bitch loves angst and drama so uh. maybe reader/bucky are in a relationship but like its a secret and its in the early stage but Then bucky gets a little too close for comfort w somebody else and yeah. i feel corny as fuck for saying alla that but,,please (requested by anon)

summary: bucky barnes and y/n struggle to define the parameters of their relationship, especially when y/n sees him with another girl.

warnings: angst fluff and vague ass smut like bitch i aint never written smut b4 so LMFAO

a/n: i tried to make this as not-cheesy as possible, but i know that its still gonna be corny as fuck bc i love corny bucky shit! love u anon,, i hope you enjoy pls lemme know what u think!<3

my fics

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Bucky glances at his watch before tugging you into the small room with him. You want to resist, but you can’t. You are putty in his hands. Each brush of his lips against your skin sets your nerves alight, warming you completely. His kisses are wet and feverish. Almost desperate. When his lips touch your neck your eyelids flutter shut, his metal fingertips are cool to the touch, they make you shiver.

“Bucky—” the half-hearted warning escapes your lips quietly.

“Y/N,” he murmurs in playful return, mimicking your tone. You can feel his smile growing.

“We have to get to the party…” your voice trails off when his hands come to hold your sides and his lips move to the sensitive skin beneath your ear. You like the feel of his beard scratching at your skin, the way his breath cools the places where his lips have been. “Buck, c’mon,” you start again, but his hand slides down to hook beneath your thigh and you instinctively wrap your leg around his hips. His cologne is intoxicating, but you breathe it in anyway, longing for it to fill your lungs. “We have to stop…” you say breathlessly, “They’re gonna notice if both of us are missing.”

But he doesn’t stop and you don’t want him to.

Your fingers fumble clumsily with the buttons of his shirt, crisp and white, you’d ironed it yourself.

He laughs and you feel it in your chest, as if it had been your own chuckle, your amusement, not his. It rings in your ears in a way that makes you wish you could hear it again and again. You grin broadly at him, and he grins back. All teeth, his blue eyes glint with each sinful thought that crosses his mind. He is so beautiful.

“The things I wanna do to you, doll,” he muses.

You hastily push the fabric away from his shoulders, hands on his bare skin. You hadn’t even noticed that he’d already unzipped the side of your dress, but then he lets go of your thigh to draw the straps from your shoulders and let the jewel toned gown fall to the floor in a pool of rich fabric.

“I could have just pulled the dress up,” your words are sound slurred together, they interrupt the clash of lips, teeth, and tongue.

Bucky shakes his head and he’s breathless, pulling both of your legs around his waist. The wall’s surface is cool against your bare back.  “I want to feel you.”

And he does.

His hands touch every inch of your body, holding you close as you pant out his name. Your fingers get entangled in the waves of chestnut brown (ruining the neat bun that had been knotted at the nape of his neck). Bucky tucks his face into the crook of your neck, his grunts send chills up and down the length your spine. His teeth graze your collarbone when you tug at his hair, his hands clutch at the backs of your thighs.

“Fuck,” Bucky hisses quietly.

Your fingertips dig into his shoulders, you tilt your head back and it bumps against the wall. You don’t care enough to think about, too engrossed by the rush of excitement pooling inside of you. But then Bucky’s hand grabs your chin, his thumb drags down across your lips and he meets your longing gaze. You wind your arms around his neck, little space between your faces. You inhale and exhale the same air, parted lips almost close enough to touch. He says your name, quietly, he breathes it. Your breath nearly catches in your throat. There’s a crease between his brows and his lower lip is caught between his teeth. His hands hold you tightly, as if he’s afraid you might slip from his grasp at any moment.

His movements grow quicker and less precise. “Y/N,” he pants when your noses touch, his eyes fluttering shut. His eyelashes are dark against his flushed cheeks. You will yourself to keep yours open, but you can’t. Bucky moans and the tightly wound coil that had formed in the pit of your stomach finally snaps. The snap of his hips grows more sloppy with each moment, he finds his release in time with yours.

The sound of your name on his lips is a whisper that’s barely there, just a wispy exhale of air, but he says it all the same. Y/N, Y/N, Y/N…Again and again and again. It sends chills down your spine, you hold him closer.

He kisses you on your lips, wet and painfully slow. His hips adopt a languid pace, you struggle to catch your breath, so does he. He gleams with a thin sheen of sweat. He’s the most handsome creature you’d ever laid your eyes on.

“Bucky.”

He kisses your neck, right back at where he started.

You buttoned up his shirt and he zipped up your dress. You combed your fingers through his hair and pulled it into a low knot. A warm, comfortable silence blooms. He touches your cheek with gentle fingertips as you wiped the traces of your lipstick from his skin.

“What?” you asked, with a raised brow. There was something anticipatory in his lingering gaze. “I’m irresistible, huh doll?”

When you rolled your eyes he laughed. Childish, but good-natured as always, yet there was still something his was withholding.

“What?” you ask again, playfully impatient.

You see his jaw clench and he exhales loudly through his nose, his expression growing thoughtful, but only for a split second.

“Nothing,” he says too quickly. He glances down at his watch and grins crookedly, “Just think, doll, if I can do that to you in under ten minutes, think about what we could do with thirty...or an hour...or a whole night.”

Bucky speaks with a manner that seems nonchalant, but part of you knows that he’s rather serious. You know the implications of such a charged suggestion: How serious is this? We both know we aren’t ‘just friends’, why keep it a secret?

But you weren’t ready to answer the unspoken questions, so you just smile and smooth out the wrinkles in his white shirt, hoping he hadn’t caught a whiff of your apprehension.

Bucky leaves the comfort of the cramped janitor’s closet (the spot for all of your most recent trysts) first. He had told you it was better that your arrival times were staggered, rather than arriving together. He glances down at his watch, he only had about ten minutes before she arrived.

Before turning down the hall towards the ballroom he turns his head to look at you, but you’ve already shut the door. He walks to the ballroom alone, flushed in the face. While he stands outside and waits he thinks about the way you clutched onto him and that moment when he’d peered into your eyes. Those innocent, heavy lidded eyes, caught in the midst of ecstasy. The taste of you was stuck on his mouth like beer on the lips of an alcoholic.

You leave the closet almost immediately after Bucky because the air still is charged with an odd, indescribable tension and you can still smell his cologne in the cramped space. You slip away and spend time in a the mirror, adjusting your hair and fixing your makeup. When you looked at yourself in the mirror you smiled, though you weren’t exactly sure why. You leaned forward and looked closely at your neck and collarbones. No marks, you had sternly told him. And though he often liked to annoy you by placing a hickey at the base of your neck or at the spot near your jaw, beneath the ear, he hadn’t tonight. Your own fingertips ghosted across your neck. It felt hot still, as if his lips had only been there seconds ago.

You wait an even thirty minutes before you head to the party.

“Fashionably late as always, huh?”

It’s Steve approaches you with a good-natured smile and two champagne flutes in hand.

“That’s the only reason to ever be late to anything,” you lie, accepting on of the glasses with an appreciative smile.

He laughs. “I wouldn’t have it any other way, you look great. You all alone tonight?”

You nod. “Why? Need a wingman?”

This makes him laugh.

When you see Bucky again it’s about an hour into the party. You spent time sipping at champagne and making small talk with a few friends, making rounds with Steve (who was also dateless), but all the while you had been scanning the large room for him. You didn’t know what for, you were both rather hesitant to seem too chummy in a public setting like this, but there was something about him tonight that had made you want more. You wanted more of him, even if that meant faking a strictly friendly friendship. You suspected he wanted more of you too. It went beyond his vague suggestion of spending more time together. You had heard it in his call of your name, seen it in the stain of your lipstick on his cheek, felt it with the touch of his thumb to your swollen lips.

You feel him before you see him. He bumps into you by pure coincidence and his hand shoots out to hold your elbow, steadying you.

“Oh, Y/N...sorry about that.” When he smiles it seems odd and half-hearted, but you ignore it. Instead you find yourself focusing on the sudden lump in your throat and your urge to kiss him again and again.

“I was actually looking for you, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Oh yeah, doll? What’s that?” He was distracted, eyes flitting from you to someplace above your head, someplace behind you. Still, it didn’t seem to register.

“Earlier you said something and I just think that—”

You didn’t know her, a pretty girl with eyes like smokey quartz. Her lipstick was a shade of pink and made her face look washed out. Yours was a shade of red that complimented the glow of your skin tone. You don’t feel embarrassed when her eyes meet yours or when she brushes past you, stopping you mid-sentence, to loop her arm through Bucky’s as if they’re some sort of buy-one-get-one pairing. She kisses his cheek. Her lipstick doesn’t stain him like yours did. You don’t smile or frown, something in you deflates.

“Oh, are you on a date?” you ask Bucky, slowly shifting your gaze from her to him. Your disappointment is apparent in your tone, though you tried desperately to hide it.

He doesn’t sputter for words or fumble for an excuse. He never does. “Yes.”

You nod because you don’t have a right to be angry. You walk away because there’s nothing left for you to say.

Behind you, you think you hear the girl asking, “What was that about?”

That night he is at your door, you know it’s him because of the (unnecessarily) distinctive knock. Two solid raps, brief pause, two, pause, two, then silence. A heartbeat at your door.

“C’mon, Y/N.”

When you open the door he’s leaning against the doorframe, still dressed in his white shirt and dress pants. He looks surprised when the door swings open, then relieved. You wished you didn’t feel anything when you looked at him.

“What’s up, Buck?” you ask when he doesn’t say anything.

“Don’t act like this.”

“Like what?”

He sighs, and a quiet settles. Most everything he says is so calculated, picked with care, searching for the most concise way to say what needs to be said. He never struggled to speak, but always took his time in doing so. He never seemed lost, he was always in control. He’d never been one for drawn out conversations, especially when it came to the prospects of your relationship with one another. You were friends first and foremost, you both knew that. Keeping the relationship a secret was the logical thing to do. Friends would treat you the same instead of seeing you as a pair, it would allow the two of you to privately define whatever it was you had. Up until recently the secrecy and the games seemed to work well. It had all been fairly straightforward: he feared commitment, you swore up and down you didn’t want anything too serious with him. You didn’t know you had been lying until tonight.

“Like you aren’t bothered,” he finally says.

The air between you grows taut. You lift and release your brows.

“I don’t have a right to be bothered.”

Respecting the agreement.

“Right…” he says, lips curling into a coy smile, “but you are.”

Silence.

“You were mad at the party, you’re mad now.”

“I’m not mad, Bucky. It’s just—”

“Just what?” He’s leaning forward, arm still on the door frame. He is poison. He thinks this is a game.

“Tonight,” you begin, hating the way he makes you feel, “you—It felt different.” There is a lump in your throat. “It was different and then...and I wanted to tell you, but then I show up and look for you the whole night and turns out, you’re with some girl.” Your bring your eyes up to his and a heat flares in your chest,  realization creeping up on you like a cruel shadow. “Is that why you kept looking at your fucking watch?”

You see his jaw tense. He swallows hard. Suddenly he’s serious...and for some reason that makes you angrier.

“Fuck, it makes so much more sense now,” you’re speaking more to yourself than to him at this point. “God, Bucky,” your cheeks puff with the air you exhale through your mouth. “I’m so stupid.”

“You aren’t stupid.”

“Yes, I am, because I actually thought I felt something with you tonight!”

He sends you a warning look: Keep it down. You hadn’t even realized how loud you’d gotten, voice echoing in the hallway. When he pushes past you through your door you don’t stop him, you keep talking.

“Something really—something real! And I was going to tell you that.” You send your gaze to the ceiling in exasperation. “I was going to tell you, can you believe that?”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because of that fucking girl, Buck.” You pace the floor, you don’t want to look at him, but you can feel his eyes on you. “You knew what the fuck you were doing, you planned this.”

He tries to interject, but there’s no stopping you.

“No, no, you did. I know you did. That fucking watch,” you point to the device on his wrist, “you had this night all scheduled out, huh? Sleep with Y/N, she’s a quick fuck, then get to my real date at the party. That’s fucked up.”

With eyes narrowed: “I didn’t plan things to turn out this way.”

“So she showed up on her own then?”

He shakes his head, this is the first time you ever see him with his lips parted, clumsily searching for the right words to string together. That’s not what I meant.

“Right,” you mockingly quip, looking him in his eye. “You don’t get to do this to me.”

“I’m giving you exactly what you wanted!” The volume of his voice catches you off guard, his face goes hard. “This is what you asked for, you wanted something secret, something quiet, and I’ve given that to you. You wanted this, not me,” he is suddenly seething, hands spread wide and out at his sides. He looks to you with darkened eyes, they seem to hold the vast tumult of the sea. His gaze is frigid. Icy waters.

“Well then...what do you want?” You question venomously, interrupting the weighty silence.

He could have crossed the room to stand close to you, but he keeps his distance. He watches you pace. He watches you watch him.

“I want to be with you.”

“That’s bullshit.”

He shakes his head, face screwed up in disbelief. “You’re the one that didn’t want anything serious!”

“You’re the one that ‘can’t handle commitment’!” You throw finger quotes in his face, he fights the urge to take you by the throat and kiss you until you can’t breathe.

“I have tried to tell you that I want more, but you just fucking brush it off or pretend like you didn’t hear me, when I know that you do. Like tonight. Tonight I didn’t even mean to hint at it, but I did, and what did you do? You fucking ignored it like you do with everything else!”

“I can’t take you seriously, you treat everything like some stupid joke!”

Bucky stares at you open-mouthed and in disbelief, but you know he won’t deny you because you both know that you’re right.

“I didn’t plan for this to happen,” he reiterates.

“The watch—”

“Jesus Christ, the watch, the watch, the fucking watch, who gives a fuck about the watch, Y/N?” As he speaks he’s taking the watch off. He holds it by the black leather strap and looks at it as if it disgusts him. “Look, I brought the girl, but it was only because Steve introduced me to her a few days ago. People keep asking about you and me, and it’s so fucking annoying, and I know how badly you wanted to keep this—” he points between the two of you with his forefinger, he’s exasperated, “—a secret! So I invited her, but I told her to come an hour after the party actually starts because I knew I was going to be with you. I wanted to be with you. It just looked good if I walked into the party with her. That’s it. That’s all.”

Bucky stands in front of you with a face that’s open and expected. Lips slightly parted, eyes wide and watchful. The silence swallows you whole.

He had helped you pick your dress before the party (Wow, pretty lady, hot date tonight?). You ironed his shirt, hung it up and kept it crisp. You left late, too caught up in one another to recall the time.  He insisted on walking together, but promised to keep a good amount of space between you. If anyone saw it would look strictly platonic. Then he grabbed you by your wrist and tugged you into that goddamn closet despite your half-hearted protests.

We don’t have a lot of time, Buck. We’re already late.

I don’t need much, doll.

“I didn’t think that you’d decide tonight that you wanted something serious,” he admits quietly. When he sighs his shoulders move up towards his ears, then rela again. Half of his mouth quirks upwards crookedly. “Hell, if I knew that, I never would have brought the girl. We wouldn’t have even gone to that stupid party, we would’ve been too busy...doing other things.”

Suddenly you are aware of the heart beating your chest and the warmth of the room. A heat creeps up your entire body, your fingertips seem to buzz. You cross the room, meeting him where he stands.

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

He whispers your name quietly, a repetitive sound on his lips. Y/N, Y/N, Y/N.

You want to hear it again and again and again.

Two hands, one warm, the other cool, rest on either side of your face and you smile. “I want you.” Secret or no secret. “I just want you.”

Bucky kisses you until you feel lightheaded. He kisses you until you’re dizzy and your legs feel wobbly and you can’t tell where you begin and he ends. He touches you with hands spread wide, he wants to feel every part of you. He burns your skin with his hot kisses, a trail of marks left to show where he’s been. You breathe him in until he’s invaded your system, you breathe him in until your lungs are filled to the brim.

[yunsangelic]

captaindboss’ Hottest NHL Players Survey Responses

I’m demonkonecny bc it’s halloween!!! Happy Halloween!!! Anyway I’m finally posting the results of my hottest players per team survey, (it’s closed now so u can’t take it anymore, sorry) which included ur fav ugly hots like jack eichel and connor mcdavid. Y’all had some colorful write-in responses for me, I included my favorites! Anyway, as not to clog dashes I put it under a read more. If you have questions about how I compiled this data or how I organized it, feel free to ask! Also some of y’all didn’t put an answer for like half the teams???? who raised you.

Montreal Canadians

Carey Price (55.02%--126 of 229 votes)

Jonathan Drouin (23.58%--54 of 229 votes)

Shea Weber (13.10%--30 of 229 votes)

Other* (8.30%--19 of 229 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“PK Subban...oh wait...Lars Eller... Oh wait...Drouin...oh wait...Alex Galchenyuk...oh wait shit fine Shea Weber”

“Everyone who has escaped”

“their ‘attitude problem’“

Boston Bruins

Brandon Carlo (30.26%--69(lol) of 228 votes)

Patrice Bergeron (Cause y’all would kill me if I didn’t put him) (29.82%--68 of 228 votes)

David Pastrnak (yum i lov carb) (25.88%--59 of 228 votes)

Other* (14.04%--32 of 228 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

[About Carlo] “He’s  a baby but also like has an ageless vampire quality which appeals to my ovaries, long conditioned by teen vampire novels”

“Brad Marchand's tongue (only the tongue)” [this ain’t it chief]

“I love my alien father tuukka rask” [r u ok]

Bonus, cause I’m weak:

“no one THINKS pasta is hot COME ON i hate us” [it’s okay, he is VERY hot, that’s why I put him lmao]

“Zdeno chara babey” [R U OK]

Bl*ckh*wks

Girl as if (44.80%--99 of 221 votes) 

Jonathan Toews (22.62%--50 of 221 votes)

If you put pk*ne here i’ll come to your house and murder you*^/other (17.65%--39 of 221 votes)

hahahahaHAHAHA (14.93%--33 of 221 votes)

*= tie between Nick Schmaltz and John Hayden.

^= 3 people want me to come to their houses and murder them, unfortunately it’s still illegal to do so, therefore I will not be doing that.

Write-ins

“toews player portrait makes him look like a human condom”

“i live in chicago and am willing to take 1 for the team and take out k*ne” 

“Bitch you funny but also Alex Debrincat”

New York Rangers

Brady Skjei (46.32%--107 of 231 votes)

Henrik Lundqvist duh (31.17%--72 of 231 votes)

Brett Howden is the right answer despite not being on the roster yet^ (11.69% (lol)--27 of 231 votes)

Other* (10.82%--25 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

^= funny enough, like 2 days after I made this Brett made the final cut lmao.

Write-ins

“Chris Kreider (have you seen the golf pic???) [LMFAO yeah I have (it’s probably too NSFW if ur in public fyi if u wanna google it)]

“i'm horny for like half the gd rangers roster!!!!” [lol girl I know, y’all actually have a few cuties I was a lil shocked]

“this is a hot team too bad they suck”

Toronto Maple Leafs

Y’all are demons okay Nikita Zaitsev is a fuckin gem idk why I was surprised about this but I was lmao.

Other* (39.37%--87 of 221 votes) [just know that I hate u all :/]

William Nylander (25.79%--57 of 221 votes)

Nazem Kadri (24.89%--55 of 221 votes)

Nikita Zaitsev (9.95%--22 of 221 votes)

*= Freddie Andersen. 

Write-ins

“william nylander isn't a leaf, firstable, and second it's motch murner” [sjdhkdlsjdj everything about this]

“i'm putting rich clune even tho he's on the marlies. SOMETIMES HE COMES UP. he could benchpress ever leaf on the roster.” [ur valid, when u sent this I was like “FUCK they’re right.”]

“None they look like 25 year olds who smoke crack in the parking lot” [this is low-key mean but I still laughed, cause yeah, white dudes. But I’m not condoning drug abuse or jokes about drug abuse, as this person had no intention of doing, I’m sure. Just wanted to put that because I know some people might be concerned.]

Bonus, again, weak:

"Jxhn Txvxrxs” [jhkhfoij why did u censor his name sis??]

“nobody’s attractive on the leafs” [this isn’t true but I’m petty and it’s funny.]

Detroit Red Wings

I was so fucking offended by some of the dylan larkin SLANDER up in these write-ins, y’all can come to my house and fight me thx.

Dylan Larkin (48.23%--109 of 226 votes)

Henrik Zetterberg (im crying) (31.42%--71(CRYING) of 226 votes)

Other* (11.95%--27 of 226 votes)

Andreas Athanasiou (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= 12 votes for “No one/Not Dylan Larkin” (yall r annoying lmfao), 10 votes for Filip Zadina (he’s a CHILD how dare u)

Write-Ins

“Luke glen denting is hot look at his arms and he’s not too old for ME” [girl when I tell u this shit killed me, I mean I SQUAWKED a laugh out and sent it to the fps gc, I was DEAD] 

“I don't know what any of the red wings look like and it's probably better that way” [????????????????]

“ion know anyone on the wings except zadina and he scored a gwg against the bruins yesterday so my answer for this one is none 😤😤” [(this was in reference to a pre-season game) lmao sis yall are okay. it was yalls babies against our roster players, I would have offed myself had the outcome been any different lmao]

Bonus

“Does anyone actually play for the red wings” [no]

“filip "thot" zadina” [don’t....]

Los Angeles Kings

The only right answer is Alec Martinez (41.56%--96 of 231 votes)

Adrian Kempe (38.10%--88 of 231 votes)

Anze Kopitar (12.12%--28 of 231 votes)

Other* (8.23%--19 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“jeff carter would snort a line of coke with gritty” [uhhhhh WHAT]

“uhh wayne gretzky...” [jvfluhddsf sis...]

“I couldn't name anyone on this team if you PAID ME” [fjldfdhfh god I wish that were me, sorry annie u know I joke....]

Philadelphia Flyers

Claude Giroux (44.78%--103 of 230 votes)

Travis Konecny (HAHAHAHAHA that’s my ugly hot gremlin) (24.78%--57 of 230 votes

Other* (22.17%--51 of 230 votes

Wayne Simmonds (8.26%--19 of 230 votes)

*= Nolan Patrick is apparently who y’all think is the 3rd hottest flyer, even tho he Looks Like That rn lmao. fuckin’ lettuce head.

Write-ins

“Gritty's googly eyes are the windows to the soul”

“andrea helfrich” [ur right]

“tk, because country boy i LOVE you 😛”

Bonus

“hey don't make threats abt gritty like that” [I put “if you put gritty i’ll block you”]

“My hellspawn son [Gritty,] is beautiful can’t believe Voracek and G had a son tho” [HDKUHEDKJFHD BITCH]

Pittsburgh Penguins :(

Kris Letang (55.17%--128 of 232 votes)

Other* (19.40%--45 of 232 votes)

Not Sidney Crosby [this is the option for Sidney Crosby] (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Tristan Jarry (8.62%--20 of 232 votes

*= different variations of “none” won but only by one vote, the person right behind was Jamie Oleksiak.

Write-ins

“the penguins roster came into my home and killed my entire family, but jamie oleksiak is 6'7" 255 lbs of A Man” [NDKFHSJRFDRBSKRFH valid]

“no penguin has ever been hot. As soon as they put on the jersey the hotness evaporates. Tragic.” [wow look at all that truth right there]

“as a heterosexual i chose letang, and as a flyers fan i choose the penguin mascot” [lmao girl letang is not the answer either]

St. Louis Blues

Colton Parayko (67.11%--151 of 225 votes)

Alex Pietrangelo (17.33%--39 of 225 votes)

Other* (8%--18 of 225 votes)

Ryan O’Reilly (7.56%--17 of 225 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“this [’other’] box shouldn’t exist there are no valid arguments against the angel colton parayko” [tru, but the blues have other hotties so I made the box to be fair to those of us who don’t like Big Blonde Sexies]

“uh valid i guess? idk any of the blues lmao” [LMAOOO I think they meant Vladdy, but “valid” cracked me up]

“ROR can lay me down” [ur so valid lmao]

Buffalo Sabres

Jeff Skinner (60.18%--136 of 226 votes)

Rasmus Ristolainen (17.26%--39 of 226 votes)

Other* (14.16%--32 of 226 votes)

Jack Eichel (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. [Y’all big mad that I put Skinner on here. HE’S HOT!]

Write-ins

“Idk but not these lmao” [*instert that gif of the kardashians like “DON’T BE FUCKING RUDE”*]

“Why is Jeff Skinner an option he looks 12″ [who else tho sis. I looked at the roster!]

“If anyone says eichel i will come to their house and steal their toothbrushes. Its conor sheary.” [I took my own survey and picked Eichs but I still have my toothbrush so I guess......... I’m right.]

Bonus:

“Rasmus Ristolainen kinda looks like a creepy half-alive Ken doll, but I'll stand by my choice. Hire an exorcist.” [JDFKHRFWEH GIRL]

“They lost their only cute player when O’Reilly got traded sorry” [boom. roasted]

Vancouver Canucks

Brock Boeser (67.56%--152 of 225 votes)

Other* (13.78%--31 of 225 votes)

Jake Virtanen (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

Ben Hutton (6.22%--14 of 225 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[about Jake Virtanen] all that ass...........” [sjdkfhdkfhdkhfi yeah]

“the city of vancouver” [?????????????????????]

“I keep forgetting that the canucks actually exist” [I’m reasonably sure this is annie lmfao]

Bonus

“I don’t know how any of this team looks either” [idk if I follow Nucks blogs or what but how do u not know Boeser???]

“i don't care enough about this team to even attempt to answer” [this is my brain @ me on the last 5 questions of an exam]

New York Islanders

Mat Barzal (67.69%--155 of 229 votes)

Tito Beauvillier (14.85%--34 of 229 votes)

Jordan Eberle (10.48%--24 of 229 votes)

Other* (6.99%--16 of 229 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“you say put full names but then u go and say tito??” [LISTEN I was tired at this point and forgot that I was trying to be at least a little bit professional about my thirst survey alright? yeesh]

“Its Matt Martin my dude” [LMAO u funny]

“idk how anyone pays attention to mat when tito is always there looking better barzal looks like every attractive jock ive ever met and i dont trust that”

Calgary Flames

Noah Hanifin (37.95%--85 of 224 votes)

Elias Lindholm (32.59%--73 of 224 votes)

Matthew Tkachuk (20.54%--46 of 224 votes)

Other* (8.93%--20 of 224 votes)

*= Sean Monahan wins 4th hottest.

Write-ins

“[Hanifin] looks like the bad guy in a teen movie. the guy the Main Girl is dating in the beginning but is a real dick to her. you look at him and you KNOW he has a trust fund and votes republican. god he's so hot though” [hanny......... yeah.... yeah....]

“Why do I find Tkachuk attractive? I don't know but I love him” [me too]

“James 'The Real Deal' Neal” [lol I got this answer multiple times]

Washington Capitals

Tom Wilson (31.33%--73 of 233 votes)

Andre Burakovsky (29.18--68 of 233 votes)

Braden Holtby (24.03%--56 of 233 votes)

Other* (15.45%--36 of 233 votes)

*= Michal Kempny and Nicklas Backstrom tied for fourth hottest.

Write-ins

“literally no one, i s2g if i see anyone say ovi is attractive..... jfc god help them” [.... but ovi is dad-hot, also he got 3 votes]

“YOUR STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS! Everyone btw just a hot team of hot ugly men and Tom Wilson” [kskdjskdjksks]

“my sweaty swedish sweetheart; Nicklas Backstrom” [I’m too illiterate to read this right the first time thru lol]

Colorado Avalanche

Gabe Landeskog ( 55.95%--127 of 227 votes)

Other* (22.47%--51 of 227 votes)

Erik “Horsegirl” Johnson (14.1%--32 of 227 votes)

Mikko Rantanen (7.49%--17 of 227 votes)

*= Tyson Barrie won by more than double of all the other write-ins, but honorable mentions go to Nate MacK, Colin Wilson, Tyson Jost, Phillip Grubauer, and The Avs Tumblr People.

Write-ins - I (jokingly) got called bitch so much in these write-ins, y’all feel some type of WAY about this team lmfao.

“but also the tysons. i would buy a whole farm just so those boys could plow me into the ground.” [i’m SCREECHING. this killed me lol]

“only attractive b/c of his proximity to horses? maybe so.” [.... girl what]

Okay, so instead of a third quote, cause I couldn’t pick, I’m gonna put all the other funny EJ comments I was contemplating:

“ej is soooo ugly in the hottest way possible”

“erik "big horny" johnson”

“oh my god Ej was included for once I'm weeping tears of joy”

“What that mouth do EJ?”

New Jersey Devils

Miles Wood (36.12%--82 of 227 votes)

Taylor Hall (33.48%--76 of 227 votes)

Brian Boyle (19.82%--45 of 227 votes)

Other* (10.57%--24 of 227 votes)

*= Nico Hischier with the majority of the write-ins, even tho he’s still a CHILD (under 20).

Write-ins, aka Mostly Taylor Hall Commentary.

“Does Michael McLeod count” [YES girl i love that boy]

“Gucciiiiiii”

“DSL GUCCI”

“Nico Hischier (Taylor Hall I still love you)”

“i chose taylor and i don’t even need a gucci purse”

“If Taylor Hall gave me a Gucci purse I'd vote for him”

“catch me w/ a gucci purse, girl!!!! for real tho miles wood”

Dallas Stars

DISCLAIMER: I mean no disrespect to Katie, she’s fab and I made this survey a month or so ago. If you don’t know what I mean by this--do not ask me, I will delete the message. Thank you!

Tyler Seguin (46.96%--108 of 230 votes)

Katie Hoaldridge (im gay) (35.22%--81 of 230 votes)

Other* (13.91%--32 of 230 votes)

Stephen Johns (3.91%--9 of 230 votes)

*= Jamie Benn.

Write-ins

“tyler seguin has no upper lip” [I screamed, not exaggerating]

“You have to choose [Seguin] but I do so under duress”

“Im gay too” [hell yeah, this is a mlm and wlw friendly survey!]

Edmonton Oilers

Jujhar Khaira (28.57%--64 of 224 votes)

Other* (27.68%--62 of 224 votes)

Contract McMoney (he is hot) (25.89%--58 of 224 votes)

Darnell Nurse (17.86%--40 of 224 votes)

*= Leon Draisaitl won by more than 5 times anyone elses write-in lmao.

Write-ins ft. “The Draisaitl Quotes”

“McMoney’s money- just his money” [lmao ok sammie, HE’S HOT!]

“cannot mcwingames went off in the gq shoot i admit” [*annie voice* OHMYGOD]

“He’s [Khaira] like a romance novel cover like, f me” [tru]

Drai Quotes

“Drai but like lucic cause Momma needs a man that could kill me” [HDGFDHDGFHDH]

“leon dreisetl (is that his name, is this how you spell it?)”

“Leon Draisaitl and his contract that he doesn't deserve” [backhanded compliment lmao]

“the one w the longass name. dry saitl or whatever” [girl. lmfao]

Winnipeg Jets

Jets/laine fans are funny so I’m adding all the funniest ones instead of just 3 or 5. Sorryyyyyy I’m here to entertain.

Blake Wheeler (44.04%--96 of 218 votes)

Mathieu Perreault (but specifically in his newest headshot) (21.56%--47 of 218 votes)

Other* (19.27%--42 of 218 votes)

Connor Hellebuyck (15.14%--33 of 218 votes)

*= Patrik Laine, even tho I said NOT TO, demons.

Write-ins

“Their logo so I can fly away from this stupid team”

“Nobody but I just needed to point out Connor Hellebuyck looks like a stage magician and that is Not Hot” [i respectfully disagree with the last bit but the first parts made me snort]

“I don't know who windy pegg is”

“Boeing 747″ [sjdjsljlshgdu]

“they’re all second to jacob trouba’s dog Donnie”

“Patty Laine, but like, without the demon beard”

“Let me live my life! Laine has a good voice and i have a LANGUAGE KINK!”

“Laine WITH the beard because I don't fear death”

“Sorry, Laine but only with his beard” [I love the halfhearted apology]

“Goatboi”

“ALL HAIL THE GOAT DEVIL”

“laine come at me bitch lol” [denny’s parking lot. 3 am. be there.]

“laine looks like a goat”

“Laine’s Beard”

“LAINE I like the beard but hockey Satan is good to hellebuyck” [I really felt like I was tripping balls while reading all these but, ESPECIALLY this one lmfao]

Arizona Coyotes

Oliver Ekman-Larsson (30.32%--67 of 221 votes)

Jakob Chychrun (28.05%--62 of 221 votes)

Dylan Strome (26.24%--58 of 221 votes)

Other* (15.38%--34 of 221 votes)

*= Alex Galchenyuk, with the majority of the votes.

Write-ins

“pls date me Chych” [annie, that’s my BF!]

“ 🐼 there is no raccoon emoji >:(”

“[Chychrun] [a]lso has a vampire quality but like trust fund baby vampire who has no morals. I’m...into it??” 

Honorable mentions: The 2 people who put Biz lmaoooo I love yall.

Carolina Hurricanes

Andrei Svechnikov [he’s a baby but I didn’t know who elseeee] (38.29%--85 of 222 votes)

Haydn Fleury (35.59%--79 of 222 votes)

Other* (15.77%--35 of 222 votes)

Dougie Hamilton (10.36%--23 of 222 votes)

*= Sebastian Aho wins the write-in vote [he ain’t it!]

Write-ins

“Justin Faulk (I’m old so svechnikov is out)” [ugh ur right I didn’t make this more inclusive to people not my age, i’m (genuinely) sorry!!!]

“Formerly Eric ‘the hottest Staal' Staal” [only on the cane’s write-in would I have this happen...]

“[Jordan] staal terrifies me but that's hot” [true!]

San Jose Sharks

Erik Karlsson (70.04%--159 of 227 votes)

Martin Jones (17.62%-- 40 of 227 votes)

Other* (11.01%--25 of 227 votes)

Justin Braun (idk) (1.32%--3 of 227 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“Daddy shark (doo doo doo)” [just so yall know this is, of course, annie, as in anzekopistar, an actual demon, she’s talking about Erik Karlsson :)]

“Brent Burns, you know im right” [are you tho?]

“Okay sometimes I have needs I think Joe Thorton sans beard could fill” [this is why joe shaved. he felt this person in the universe wanting him to, so he did, wow thank u joe]

Ottawa Senators (lol)

Matt Duchene (33.63%--75 of 223 votes)

The entire team (cause they’re a dumpster fire) (30.94%-- 69 [it’s that tkachuk fuckboi energy] of 223 votes)

Other (there are none)* (22.87%--51 of 223 votes)

Spartacat (12.56%--28 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results (because a lot of you took my “there are none” joke a little too seriously and just chose that, no write-in lmao)

Write-ins

“[about Duchene] he's traitorous but it's like that sometimes i guess” [sjdhdjfhkdhf girl it’s okay.]

“.... we're a team“ [i-]

“the senator on their jerseys is p cute ig”

Bonus:

“oh so spartacat is an option but not gritty huh” [LISTEN the flyers are a HOT team, the sens are NOT. that’s why lmao]

“Just based on headshots I’m going with Ben Sexton like also how do you go wrong with that name”

Tampa Bay Lightning

Brayden Point (55.25%--121 of 219 votes)

Other* (22.83%--50 of 219 votes)

Mitchell Stephens (11.87%--26 of 219 votes)

Steve Yzerman (10.05%--22 of 219 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. Although there were a lot of responses none of them added up significantly sooo....

 Write-ins

“am i the only one who thinks stevie y was a bit of a twink when he was younger?” [jdhslihdalskdjefh]

“Worst team in the league i hate them and theyre all hideous” [u sure bout that, bud?]

“Stamkos (I love his tiny eyes)” [????]

Florida Panthers

 Aaron Ekblad (71.75%--160 of 223 votes)

Aleksander Barkov [r yall ok???] (11.66%--26 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.31%--23 of 223 votes)

Vincent Trocheck (6.28%--14 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“who are the panthers” [sometimes a team is a dog captain, a(n extremely hot) 27-year-old lawyer, and not owen tippett because the panthers hate me specifically]

“Roberto Luongo during Parkland speech” [... valid]

“barkov is literally the only player i know on this team” [shey would be happy to teach u about the panthers!]

Anaheim Ducks

Adam Henrique (52.47%--117 of 223 votes)

No one else (29.6%--66 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.76%--24 of 223 votes)

John Gibson (7.17%--16 of 223 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins-Ducks fans don’t @ me but i’m pretty sure half of these were submitted by y’all anyways....

“if i look @ anyone on the ducks roster for more than 5 seconds i BLACK OUT” [KSHDGJDHSKH Adam tho....]

“Quack Quack go lay your eggs somewhere else you feathered FUCKS” [sjdjfhdjsksj]

“legal 2 say kesler?” [no. go to jail]

Bonus

“Henrique is fine I have no qualms about your selections” [thnk u]

“jared coreau!!! GOOGLE HIM i’m right” [I said this, and we’ve talked, but I need people to know that I, after seeing this, subsequently found out that the Wings didn’t sign coreau back this offszn lmao] 

Nashville Predators

Roman Josi (39.39%--91 of 231 votes)

PK Subban (37.66%--87 of 231 votes)

Kevin Fiala (13.42%--31 of 231 votes)

Other* (9.52%--22 of 231 votes)

*= Pekka Rinne for 4th hottest. [My mom loves him for his name lol. she says it’s “fun”]

Write-ins 

“pk wears cool hats. I like that in a man”

“I don't find any of them hot (Josi used too be hot and then I learned he was illiterate and now I feel nothing but pity towards him)” [GIRL]

“preds are also ugly. pk subban would be attractive if he werent a pred” [lmao. what’d they do to u ?]

Columbus Blue Jackets

Pierre-Luc Dubois (50.22%--113 of 225 votes)

Zach Werenski (20.44%--46 of 225 votes)

Josh Anderson (16.89%--38 of 225 votes)

Other* (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

*= Alex Wennberg is 4th hottest [lmao]

Write-ins

“Can I put werenskie and Anthony Duclair” [valid]

“Just to be clear CBJ is by far the hottest team exemplified by the fact that you left Seth Jones and Alexander Wenneberg off this list when they're like top 20 in hotness. Also Nick Foligino wins if we include looks and personality.” [I didn’t include them cause this is a mix of hot and ugly hot fam, the avs are 100% the hottest team in the NHL, and that’s coming from me, a Wings fan, destined to hate the Avs for my entire life. Also???? The hotter Foligno is def Marcus lmao]

“[About Werenski] only with the scar though otherwise seth jones” [GIRL scars don’t disappear??? WDYM only with the scar??? Are you a time traveler??? lmfaooo]

Minnesota Wild

J.T. Brown (46.46%--105 of 226 votes)

Other* (21.68%--49 of 226 votes)

Eric Staal (20.80%--47 of 226 votes)

Jason Zucker (11.06%--25 of 226 votes)

*= Charlie Coyle. Honorable mentions to Zach Parise and Matt Dumba.

Write-ins

“Charlie Coyle man! V hot, could kill you, gently waves at babies, 10/10″ [exactly my type! wow]

“ Not JT[,] Lexi is the hottest[,] Eric Staal from a few years ago is also hot” [I added commas to your thing cause.... girl it took me a sec to understand what u were tryna say. But also ur right it’s Lexi.]

“love a #wokebae jt” [yaaas]

FINALLY this legit took me like 10+ hours of work cause I had to transcribe all the info cohesively and then go thru all the responses lmao.

Vegas Golden Knights

William Karlsson (40.52%--94 of 232 votes)

Marc-Andre Fleury (30.60%--71 of 232 votes)

Max Pacioretty (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Other* (12.07%--28 of 232 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[Karlsson] because he looks like young Bill from Mamma Mia” [shfhdjdhf girl]

“fleury isn't hot you absolute monster” [???????? drink ur bitterness tea somewhere else pls]

“let's find out just how wild this boy is” [pftd dtduftdhjfgdjfghdjf]

Bonus/Honorable mentions:

The TWO people who put “colin miller’s eyelashes” lmfaoooo

Alrighty this is The End! If you’d like to see another survey by me let me know in my messages/ask!!! Also sorry for stealing de la Rose from u, habs fans

[thegeminisage]

What other characters (of DBH) you think people should appreciate more and why? I love read your opinions❤

omg anon pls thats so sweet

(if anybody wasn’t here for the last ask the first character was north & there’s a follow-up here)

alright just a “””quick””” (lol as if) little thing for each one bc it’s getting late & you’ve already been waiting on this for like an hour at the time i started typing. it’s probably gonna be long as fuck but the tl;dr is at the bottom

LUTHER:

they did luther so dirty…it was like david cage was playing “racist trope bingo” for his entire debut chapter…and then on top of that all he cares about is kara & alice, these two near-strangers, and it’s real easy to get him killed for them. in fact, in an ending where kara sacrifices herself at the border, she tells alice that luther will get her across the border, and after that, rose will take care of her. UM WHAT? don’t call ur PSN trophy “happy family” and then try to erase luther like that!! what does luther want? what are his hopes and dreams, his fears? nobody ever bothers to ask bc they’re too busy making ralph alice’s dad. and it’s not that i don’t like ralph - i do! but he threatened alice with a knife TWICE. after her previous dad’s bullshit, that’s the last thing she needs!!

here’s my take on luther: he says that what his life was before kara & alice doesn’t matter, and that’s because david cage doesn’t care about him. but imagine instead that luther remembers what he did (was forced to do) before he broke his programming. our luther is sweet and gentle and good, but zlatko forced him to use his strength as a weapon for LITERALLY tearing people apart. don’t you think luther regrets that? don’t you think he wishes he could take it back? perhaps his even temper and loving heart is a RESULT of those early memories: he’s seen the worst sides of anger and callousness, he’s had to be complicit in it. my feeling is that he never ever wants to be complicit in something like that again…it feels weird when he picks up a gun in the game because i think he would be even more of a staunch pacifist than josh?? i feel like even when luther does get annoyed or angry he’s so afraid of the harm he’s capable of doing he doesn’t even really let himself feel it And That’s Sad. he should be able to get annoyed at like a broken coffee maker or some shit without illogically worrying it will result in someone’s maiming or death?? maybe he is So Ready to throw himself on a grenade for kara and alice because yes, he does love them, but also he feels he has to redeem himself somehow, yk? he has to be willing to do absolutely WHATEVER it takes to be Good

they didn’t give luther any depth…he never got to speak to zlatko’s captives and apologize, he never got to express a feeling about kara potentially burning down the whole fucking nightmare house (with living androids inside, i might add) - would he have wished to save those androids? would he be glad their suffering was over? would he have motherfucking hearts in his eyes for kara single-handedly destroying his own personal hell? he deviated for alice, it was alice that made him say “ok, doing this to kids is where i literally can’t take it anymore” - don’t you think he’d be so retroactively terrified of all the terrible things that could have happened to her? 

like i truly don’t get why people make ralph alice’s dad when luther loves her so fucking much he’d bring her the moon if she asked - he’s the only person who loves her just as selflessly and unconditionally as kara does. she accepted him and wanted him to say goodnight their very first night together…as soon as he resisted his programming, she stopped being afraid of him, and it must be so amazing for him to finally have people around who don’t either fear him or try to control him…whether u ship him with kara or not (i do, everyone should - it’s one thing to HC kara as gay but i side-eye people who don’t wanna ship luther with anybody) you know he’s gotta cherish them so much

AMANDA:

ok look i know amanda is the antag to connor’s story but honestly she’s metal as FUCK. i was so fucking floored to not only learn the garden isn’t a garden but that amanda isn’t amanda…my first playthrough i was letting connor be just a lil bit deviant but whenever amanda would ask about it i would panic and lie…now i know it doesnt matter what you can say and you can be blatantly deviant right in front of her and she’s like ok Whatever BUT i was deeply shook to realize all my lying to her all along hadn’t meant a thing…she did in fact KNOW i was lying because she wasn’t real, she was living in connor’s brain and she could see all that shit he was doing

and also?? like, imagine you were made out of a dead person’s face and voice. we don’t know if amanda has a body, we don’t know if kamski actually liked what he created or thought it was creepy (like imagine if he and amanda were close and then she died…it’d be weird to see her like that), we don’t know if amanda CAN deviate like the androids…she’s living this half life potentially stuck in some garden and just doing what her program says like everybody else. but even though machines get all the sympathy in this game i very rarely ever see people stop and go “dude, is she ok…is someone controlling her can we help her” - amanda’s a lot like connor, she’s hunting down deviants but she’s not a human and she’s not alive yet so who’s pulling her strings?? can they be cut??? 

JOSH:

i’ll be honest i haven’t figured out what Angle i like best for josh the way i’ve got one for luther and north but he has such strong convictions i feel like they would have to stem from some past experience. everybody’s always arguing about simon vs north that nobody stops to give josh the attention he deserves…he’s part of the fantastic 4 too!! who is josh? what does he want? what is he afraid of? does he refuse to be violent for reasons like luther - did he hurt someone, deliberately or accidentally? (to a lesser extent, a pacifist markus who shoved leo can also follow this pattern - he gave into violence and thought he’d killed carl’s son, so he swore to do no more violence after that.) or: did he see someone else get hurt/get hurt himself? i know the backstory they give him in the gallery but tbh it’s very similar and not stand-out from most of the rest of the stuff we hear…

like, what made josh deviate? we literally never find out. i think it would be interesting tho if instead of just being the victim of violence, he was ordered to DO violence, and refused - maybe that’s why he got hurt. but i think his relationship WITH violence could be a complex thing for anyone who wanted to tackle it. we know why north prefers violence, why does josh detest it? (similarly, why does simon prefer safety over either approach? - but fandom gives him a lot of love and attention and tries to explain this, and nobody tries to explain it for josh.)

KARA & ALICE:

like…to a small extent…i know they’re main characters but i could write an essay just on why they didn’t get a fair shake either - constant victims of assault, little depth, kara got to choose what happened to her but not what kind of person she was gonna be like markus & connor, significantly less playtime than markus & connor, had NO influence on the big macro plot like markus & connor, i could go on…but definitely the worst for me is that everything about kara that made us love her (from the short), was ERASED - david took her memories and never made the slightest move towards kara wanting them back, or her being able to get them back. she’s six years old and he took all of her history from her, all of her agency!! i feel like translated into fic they can both become very flat - all kara cares about is protecting alice, and alice is constantly scared or hurt or needing to be taken care of, like a baby doll. granted that’s not actually far from the game’s canon, but it could have been MORE. kara had six entire years of experiences before she met alice - what makes alice special? who is kara without alice? 

i really wish we had been able to take a personality route with kara - her main superpower seems to be empathy and getting people on her side (ralph, jerrys, zlatko’s creatures), but she can also wave around a gun at anybody who gets near her baby. it would have been really interesting to explore two sides of that - to have a kara who is 1000% Done and ready for wholesale murder if it means surviving vs having a kara who can bring out the best in anyone, even if they seem like bad people at first. (imagine the influence you could have over alice - she would learn to be wary of strangers or be warm to them.) but instead the narrative is wishy-washy; you can’t teach alice anything, and in fact she serves as kara’s moral compass instead of the other way around - you wind up doing things like comforting the guy who broke kara multiple times and waving a gun at ralph (who like, shouldn’t have done that, but also isn’t 100% in control of his own facualities all the time). it would have been really interesting to see kara be able to influence her own fate more as well - the camp sections are shitty and should not exist but like maybe a kara who had spent the whole game yelling at everyone with a gun would have the ability unlocked to then rally the people inside, and who cared what connor and markus were doing, you know? 

but david doesn’t know how to write women so that’s not what we got - kara carried that entire franchise into reality and he totally screwed her over!!

TL;DR

luther was forced to do terrible things and that could explain a lot of his behavior if anybody cared, nobody ever wonders if amanda is being forced to obey programming like the rest of the machines or if she’s ok, josh’s relationship with violence could be very complex and we don’t know his motivation for refusing to participate in it the way we know north’s for preferring it, and david can’t write women so he shafted kara so fucking bad and it is an honest to god shame

(dbh meta tag)

[rikubun]

Riku Nanase Mechanical Lullaby Rabi TV Part 3

撮影を終えて: End of the Movie Shoot

Director: Thanks for the good work, you three. You guys were really good.

Riku Nanase: Director, thanks for the good work! I was nervous, but it was really fun.....!

Sogo Osaka: It was all because of your wonderful directing. Thank you very much.

Tenn Kujo: Thanks for the good work, Director.

Director: I just really wanted to try painting the world before the plan happened, you know. I was worried about how it would turn out though......

Director: It would be boring if I spoiled too much of the story in just this one scene, so while trying to avoid using direct terminologies, I tried to aim for a different kind of feeling from the world after the plan has already started using the interactions between you three who still had your memories.

Sogo Osaka: I see....... So that was your intention. While I was acting out Meir, the thought that this would be his last day made me really sad.

Director: Your sadness was conveyed wonderfully through your acting. Meir was a human-like Robot Doll after all.

Sogo Osaka: Thank you for your kind words. Watching Kujo-san and Riku-kun’s acting made it feel like it was really the end......

Sogo Osaka: I was led by their acting.

Tenn Kujo: It’s an honor to hear such words from you.

Riku Nanase: I was also really sad to part with Meir-san......!

Riku Nanase: On top of that, we already know what’s going to happen next from the script.. Cielo and Terra also losing their memories in the future makes me really sad.......

Riku Nanase: ......u....... Uu.......

Tenn Kujo: Nanase-san, please use this tissue. That part of you that’s easily moved to tears is just the same as Terra.

Riku Nanase: Sorry.......

Tenn Kujo: By the way, Director, I noticed that this scene’s script is the only one that’s separate. Where exactly are you planning on putting this in?

Director: That’s a good question. ......To tell you the truth, I haven’t decided yet.

Tenn Kujo: You haven’t decided yet?

Director: I’m not sure whether or not to follow chronological order and put it in the beginning, or to put it at the end as a flashback.......

Director: Or I was thinking maybe I can just not put it in the original story at all, and it can be a special, short film shown before the public release.

Riku Nanase: That sounds wonderful......!

Tenn Kujo: Yeah. In any case, I think that regardless of where you place it in, it will surely be an exciting scene. (1)

Director: Thanks. I know that I have to hurry up and decide soon, but I’ve been having trouble.

Sogo Osaka: Even a creator as great as you has their own worries, huh.......

Director: I’m not that great of a creator..... I’m always full of doubts.

Director: I probably disappointed you, didn’t I?

Sogo Osaka: That’s not true......! It might be weird of me to say this, but... how should I say this.. It gave me courage... Somewhere inside of me felt relaxed.......

Sogo Osaka: If even you have your own doubts, then it’s only natural for someone like me to have them as well.

Riku Nanase: I kinda understand what you’re trying to say.

Riku Nanase: While doing this job, I discovered so many people who seem amazing....... Ah, of course, you actually are amazing though!

Riku Nanase: How should I say this...... There were times where I thought that I was the only one worrying about things.

Director: Haha. Throughout your career, you’ll meet a lot of people who seem so amazing that they’re worthy of being called creators, but in the end, we’re all like this. You can relax. 

Director: ......Well it might be different for the small percentage of geniuses though.

Tenn Kujo: ......I think it’s an honor to be involved with all of you creators who are trying to bring forth such wonderful works even at the cost of your own blood, sweat, and tears. (2)

Director: Thanks. I’ll do my best to create a piece of work that won’t put your efforts to waste. 

Director: There’s still a bit left to do until the end, but I’ll be counting on you guys.

Sogo Osaka: Yes!

Tenn Kujo: I look forward to continue working with you.

Riku Nanase: I’ll do my best until the end!

End of Part 3.

(1): hey tenn literally called this a spicy scene i wish i could put that in but that sounds really .............................................................................

(2): THIS IS NOT A BTS REFERENCE  ummm tenn actually says 魂を削って生み出そうとしているもの so like. trying to make things even if it means that Ur Soul Is Slowly Dying........................................... the artist lyfe??Y?Y??? idk i just thought that this phrase fit it so this is me trying to justify my poor decisions

[stepdownonhell]

Questions, questions

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? A:I’m fine with my height:) 2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) A: A ferret  3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? A: Grunge/Indie. Or basic white bitch 4: What was your favorite video game growing up? A:Can’t remember  5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: My hawt bf, a certain amazing, gorgeous girl that’s my cute lil rabbit ♥, and my future. 6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? A: “Warning asshole” 7: What is your opinion on Trump]? A: Kill it.  8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] A: Sometimes Sanguine (Rarely tho lmao. working on it sh) But Phlegmatic mostly.  9: Are you ticklish? A: Uhhhh..no? 10: Are you allergic to anything? A: Cute rats. sad.

11: What’s your sexuality? A: Pansexual (save the pan jokes) 12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? A: Coffee  13: Are you a cat or dog person? A: Dog 14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? A: A very tall elf. 15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? A: Zane Hijazi 16: How tall are you? A: 5′10 17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? A: Octavia 18: How much do you weigh? A: Too much. 19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? A: Yes 20: Do you like space or the ocean more? A: Space. 21: Are you religious? A: Religion? What’s that? 22: Pet peeves? A: Everything a human can do with their nails. flick flick  23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal? A: Who doesn’t wanna be a vampire? 24: Favorite constellation? A: Aquarius  25: Favorite star?  A: Sirius 26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? A: No 27: Any phobias or fears? A: Spiders 28: Do you think global warming is real? A: Maybe? 29: Do you believe in reincarnation? A: Depends 30: Favorite movie? A: Love, Simon 31: Do you get scared easily? A: Naaah 32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? A: 15 33: Who do you hate most? A: Um, trump and a certain some one. 34: What is a color that calms you? A: Yellow 35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? A: I would like to travel to the UK(And live there but..) I would wanna live in Cali.  36: Where were you born? A: A very cold place. 37: What is your eye color? A: Dark brown 38: Introvert or extrovert? A: Introvert. Why do you think I’m on tumblr? 39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? A: Yeah boy. 40: Hugs or kisses? A: Um neither, gross. 41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? A: My love 42: Who is someone you love deeply? A: My sweet boi 43: Any piercings you want? A: My septum plz. I need her back in my life 44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? A: Yes 45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so? A: I don’t smoke, but I have ew. 46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! A: I gots a mans honey 47: What is a sound you really hate? A: NAIL FLICKING 48: A sound you really love? A: My mans voice ;) 49: Can you do a backflip? A: no but how rad would that be? 50: Can you do the splits? A: ^ 51: Favorite actor and/or actress? A: Idkkk 52: Favorite movie? A: You asked me this already 53: How are you feeling right now? A: Nostalgic  54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? A: Blue 55: When did you feel happiest? A: When I went to Florida. 56: Something that calms you down? A: Talking  57: Have any mental disorders? A: Um 58: What does your URL mean? A: That’s a secret ;) 59: What three words describe you the most? A: Nostalgic, Lonely, unproductive.  60: Do you believe in evolution? A: Yes 61: What makes you unfollow a blog? A: If they’re a douche 62: What makes you follow a blog? A: If they’re rad 63: Favorite kind of person: The nice kind. Only in stores. 64: Favorite animal(s): Rats :) N snakes 65: Name three of your favorite blogs. I follow noone;) 66: Favorite emoticon: Emojis r gross 67: Favorite meme: Whats a me me  68: What is your MBTI personality type? A: Whut 69: What is your star sign? A: Sagittarius  70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? A: Yes 71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? A: Red and white adorable, soft ass crop top, with my black skinnies. 72: Post a selfie or two? A: Neither  73: Do you have platform shoes? A: Wishing 74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? A: I wanted to be a ballet dancer or a scientist.   75: Can you do a front flip? A: No 76: Do you like birds? A: Yes 77: Do you like to swim? A: ofc 78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? A: Swimming 79: Something you wish didn’t exist: Anti lgbt + trump 80: Some thing you wish did exist: Teleportation my dear 81: Piercings you have? A: First+second lobe, nose. 82: Something you really enjoy doing: Makeup 83: Favorite person to talk to: My boiii 84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? A: gey  85: How many followers do you have? A: 0 86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? A: 10:01 87: Do your socks always match? A: Not a chance 88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? A: Nope 89: What are your birthstones? A: Tealllll? 90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? A: a birb 91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? A: A white rose 92: A store you hate? A:  Hyvee? 93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? A: 6 lmao  94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? A: read minds 95: Do you like to wear camo? A: Depends 96: Winter or summer? A: Summer 97: How long can you hold your breath for? A: 57 seconds 98: Least favorite person? A: a certain person 99: Someone you look up to: My boiii 100: A store you love? A: Spencers 101: Favorite type of shoes A: Converse 102: Where do you live? A: not ur biz 103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? A: No 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? A: Um idk 105: Do you drink milk? A: No i think it’s gross 106: Do you like bugs? A: no 107: Do you like spiders? A: do u even have to ask? n O 108: Something you get paranoid about? A: Everything 109: Can you draw: No lol 110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? A: do yOU PLAY BASKETBALL??????????? 111: A question you hate being asked? A: ^ 112: Ever been bitten by a spider? A: probably 113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? A: yes 114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? A: Cloudy  115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: the boi :( 116: Favorite cloud type:  Arcus cloud 117: What color do you wish the sky was?  A: Yellow 118: Do you have freckles? A: I wish 119: Favorite thing about a person: Smile or humor 120: Fruits or vegetables? A: Fruits 121: Something you want to do right now: dieieieeie 122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? A: Both are endless  123: Sweet or sour foods? A: Sour 124: Bright or dim lights? A: Dim 125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? A: No 126: Something you hate about Tumblr: The “I think murders are cute” Side. 127: Something you love about Tumblr: Pretty photos  128: What do you think about the least? A: Responsibilities ;))  129: What would you want written on your tombstone? A: “Dance on me”  130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? A: A lot of people 131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? A: My face 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? A: Maybe 133: Computer or TV? A: Comp. 134: Do you like roller coasters? A: YEEES

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? A: Motion sickness sometimes :((

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? A: Lobed 137: Do you believe in karma? A: A little 138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? A: 3 139: What nicknames do you have/have had? A: Princess, hoe, rikku 140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? A: When I was younger I thought Danny phantom was my bf.  141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? A: Never 142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? a: Bad.woops 143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts? A: Giving  144: What makes you angry? A: Homophobs  145: How many languages do you speak fluently? A: 2 Engrish n jibberish 146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? A: All of the beautiful people ♥ 147: Are you androgynous? A: Too much so 148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: My brows n hair 149: Favorite thing about your personality: Too tough to answer  150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. A: My love, A rabbit n Hobo Johnson.  151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? A: Stone age my dudes 152: Do you like BuzzFeed? A: Ew no 153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? A: A game 

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? A: umno

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? A: Yea 156: What embarrasses you? A: My mother 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: Too many peoples 158: Biggest lie you have ever told: Lets not bring that up 159: How many people are you following? A: Dunno 160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? A: Like 2 161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? A: none 162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? a: nONE 163: Last time you cried and why: A few days ago for reasons  164: Do you have long or short hair? A: Shoulder length 165: Longest your hair has ever been: To the bum 166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? A: Because religion scares people into thinking if they do something bad, they’ll go to an imaginary place called hell. If your God loved you so much he would never do such a thing ;/// + Many other reasons 167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? A: I really do 168: Do you like to wear makeup? A: too much 169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? A: No 170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? A: Yuh

[panticwritten]

Pearl-Handled Shotgun: Chapter One

Yeah. I have no posting schedule for this haha. We’ll just see how it goes.

Prologue

Word count: 2978

TW:

Emotional warfare (of the controlling parent kind)

Hardcore dissociation

Reference to police brutality

Alyssa

“You’re lucky we could keep it out of the newspapers.”

Alyssa doesn’t look at her father, drumming her nails against the arm of the chair. Her mom watches from a chair behind him, her disapproval clear in the curve of her brow, the thin line of her mouth. The teen turns her head so she doesn’t have to see either of them.

“That man could have pressed charges. Do you think he would have gone after your little friends?” She bristles at the sneer in his voice, but she keeps her mouth shut. “You have a promising future ahead of you, I won’t stand by and watch you throw that away.”

She nods idly, the bare minimum of what he wants from her.

“I don’t know where this is coming from, your lashing out. Your brother never did anything like this.”

Ah, there it is. Calim, the perfect son. The good one. The easy one.

“He just never got caught,” she mutters.

“What was that?”

She looks up, at the familiar anger in her father’s eyes. He cocks an eyebrow up, expectant. She sighs and shakes her head. “Nothing. I’m sorry.”

He stares at her, his gaze hard, before returning to pacing to and fro in front of the fireplace. “What else have you been doing behind our backs? It isn’t safe, and it certainly isn’t acceptable.”

“Last night was an accident,” Alyssa says before she can hold the words back. “We took a wrong turn.”

He stills, burning eyes back on her. “You shouldn’t have been out at all last night!”

“I already apologized for that.”

“You can’t really think a petty ‘sorry’ will make up for breaking our trust? For sneaking out, so you could—what? Run around the city with a group of delinquents?”

She straightens up, scrabbling to hold onto her unruffled air. “Delinquents?”

“They’re a bad influence.”

“They are not!” Shoulders squared, Alyssa’s practiced placidity ruptures at his ‘holier than thou’ stance. “Stephanie and Jared are good friends, and they don’t treat me like a glass doll or a- a- a piece of advertising!”

“Alyssa, dear, please don’t yell,” her mom warns, her voice soft. It diffuses the immediate tension in the air. Her father says nothing. The coolness in his eyes, however, tells her the damage has already been done. Alyssa clears her throat and continues with more restraint.

“I apologize, sincerely, for what happened. I should have been honest with you.” She pauses, heartened when her father jerks his head in a nod. “It wasn’t the first time I left without permission, and it was unfair of me keep you in the dark.”

“How many times?”

“What?”

“How many times have you snuck out?” he asks. His deceptively level voice spreads anxiety through her chest, thick and sticky in her throat. She swallows it down and makes a mental tally.

“Twelve?” She offers. It’s not counting the days she used shopping trips as cover for driving the roads on the eastern edges of Portland with her friends, but she doesn’t tell him that.

He considers this thoughtfully, as if deciding whether he’ll have honey or jam on his toast. Alyssa sees it in his eyes when he comes to a conclusion, one fist coming down on his open palm.

“Then we’ll discuss this again in twelve weeks.”

Her heart constricts in her chest, driving her to her feet. She manages to keep her mouth shut, but that’s not enough. It’s never enough. He raises a brow, unimpressed, and starts for the family room door.

“You won’t leave the manor unattended until then. You have ten minutes to tell your friends before I collect your devices.” He pauses at the door, looking back with a painfully detached expression. “Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir,” she says automatically, unable to suppress the reflex.

The door closes behind him, with hardly a whisper. She stares unseeing at the polished surface, almost wishing he had slammed it. She lowers herself back into the chair, wiping the back of a hand over her eyes before the pinch behind them can turn into tears.

If he can keep ahold of his temper, so can she.

“It could have been worse.” Alyssa jolts violently when her mom speaks. She had almost forgotten she was here.

“I know.” She doesn’t look over, dragging her phone out of her pocket. Steph and Jared will lose their minds if she just disappears for three months, especially after her father left them in jail for the night.

“You could have been killed,” she continues, voice low. Alyssa freezes, her fingers hovering over the screen. “ Just because we are who we are doesn’t mean it’s safe to get into trouble. An officer won’t think twice before they pull that trigger.”

Alyssa nods, looking up. Without her father here as a distraction, she now sees what she didn’t before in her mom’s furrowed brow, pressed lips. Fear, not disappointment. Regret pangs in her chest. “I know, mom. I swear we weren’t trying to do anything illegal.”

“That doesn’t matter.” She rises from her chair, full of grace as always, and offers her daughter a strained smile. “You need to be careful. Smarter. I’ll try to talk your father down, but I do agree that you need time to think about what happened last night.”

She nods again, and her mom starts for the door.

“I’m sorry for scaring you.”

She doesn’t answer, closing the door silently behind her. Alyssa sighs, sinking deeper into the back of the chair, and pulls up a group chat.

A<-- Hey.

A<-- I am SO sorry about my father, I can’t believe he just left you there.

A<-- I hope you both are okay. At the very least, that you’re home safe.

A<-- I can’t leave the house on my own for a few months, and he’ll be back for my phone any minute now.

She watches the screen with bated breath. After a moment, both of their icons appear beside the messages. Before she can register her relief, Steph responds.

S--> hey!

S--> i was starting to rly worry

S--> mom picked us up right after u left

A<-- Oh, thank god.

J--> a few months

J--> what the hell

J--> my dad took my keys but like

J--> just for a two weeks

S--> im grounded for a month :(

A<-- We’ve talked about my parents before. Are you really surprised?

J--> nah i guess not

J--> but thats hella rough

J--> someone needs to take some parenting classes

S--> im sorry aly

J--> how to be a good dad and not alienate your children or whatever

J--> oh shit yeah we kinda did get you in trouble huh

A<-- It’s not your fault. My mom said she’ll try to change his mind, but I doubt that will do much good.

A<-- Besides, you both got in trouble, too. It’s as much my fault as it is yours.

J--> no man dont say that

J--> youd never been camping thats a fucking crime

J--> i mean shooting at teenagers for pitching a damn tent should be a crime but thats a whole other thing

S--> jj

S--> not funny

A<-- He’s right, though.

J--> hell yeah drinking down this validation

J--> glug glug motherfucker

S--> stop

S--> ur ok tho?

S--> like should we worry?

Her phone slips through her fingers, pulled away by nimble hands, before she can answer. She hadn’t noticed her father come back in, and he leaves again without otherwise acknowledging her. She watches him go without a word.

Arguing more would make it worse. She’s lucky to have gotten ten minutes.

Now that she’s alone with nothing to do, she hefts herself upright. She stares at the embers glowing in the fireplace, considering what to do for the rest of the day. She has schoolwork due on Monday. She needs to decide within the month between Oxford—her father’s alma mater—or the local university her friends already enrolled in.

PSU sounds more fun. She wouldn’t like to think of the repercussions that may come out of that decision, though. Her parents don’t even know she applied.

She shakes her head and strides out of the room. Her feet take her along the familiar path upstairs to her study while she broods about three months without the promise of a night out on the town or a day flying along back roads in Jared’s convertible. By the time the bars are lifted, she’ll have graduated.

And she’ll have a month with them before her inevitable shipment off to Oxford.

She slams the door much harder than intended at the thought. She’s visited the campus a few times, walked through the city, and something about it leaves her uneasy. It’s beautiful, certainly, but it feels wrong.

She leans back against the door with a sigh, peering at the stack of books on her desk. The last thing she needs is for her grades to slip. She’s on thin ice as it is.

Her gaze drifts to the shelves lining the back of the room. They hold the books she’s sequestered from the library, or those that have been gifted to her.

She crosses to the closest shelf, running a finger along the books’ spines. Many of them, she still hasn’t read. She hasn’t had time to read since her parents began taking her to functions and benefits.

She dips a finger over the lip of the first in a series of old tomes wrapped in leather, one of her mom’s gifts to her this past Christmas, and drags it out. The first seems more weathered than the rest, the cover dull and rough rather than polished. She skimmed the first few pages when she first got the books, and she know there must have been effort put into it. The whole series is handwritten.

It’s as good as anything else.

She takes the book to her desk, promising herself that she’ll only read for a while. She has to get some work done before dinner, after all.

*****

“Alyssa? Are you in there?”

Alyssa jumps at the crackle of the intercom, heart racing and unseeing eyes leaving the yellowed pages of the book. It takes a few seconds to orient herself, remembering where she is. When she does, she recoils at the headache pounding behind her eyes, the roiling tension in her stomach.

She glances back down at the book to find it open near the middle. She can’t remember reading more than the first few pages—it was written as a personal diary of a slave girl named Brietta. She wrote in a neat script about mundane chores and city life, but she can’t remember the details of the anecdotes. She closes her eyes to try and remember.

Her stomach turns over when she catches a wisp of it, but it doesn’t stay long enough for her to grasp the memory itself.

“Alyssa!”

She jolts again, her eyes flying open. She rushes from her seat to the intercom and presses the flashing button for the dining room.

“Yes, mom, I’m here. What is it?”

“Come down for dinner, dear. I hope you haven’t been working too hard.”

She hesitates before answering, looking back to the book. It must have been hours since she holed myself up in there. She doesn’t remember any of it. She shakes her head and taps the button again.

“I’m fine. I’ll be down in a minute.”

She returns to the desk, ignoring her mother’s confirmation, and turns back to the first couple pages of the book. She finds the mention of ‘afternoons near the cold river after tending to mother’s sickness,’ jams one of many bookmarks upon the desk between the pages, and snaps the book shut.

She leaves it on the desk for later investigation, hurrying out to join her family in the dining room. Maybe some food will ease her lingering nausea.

By the time she enters the dining room on the ground floor, both of her parents are already perched in their seats at the far end of the table. Her mom greets her with a warm smile, her father with a nod from the end chair.

She apologizes for being late and takes a seat across from her mom. The air lays heavy upon the room, increasing the pressure behind her eyes. Even the light viola drifting from the wall speakers can’t break the tension growing with each overdone slice of a knife her father grinds on his plate through the steak.

She struggles to keep from screwing her eyes shut against it, forcing her hands into measured strokes. One bite at a time, then this will be over.

“So.”

It’s her mom that breaks the silence. All sounds of eating pause for only a moment, the rhythm of the meal changing, before continuing as though it never stopped.

“It’s gotten warm awfully fast this year, hasn’t it? Just last week it was freezing.”

“And now we’re in the upper seventies,” her father agrees.

Alyssa manages hold back a physical sigh of relief, bringing a stalk of asparagus to her lips. Her parents chat about the weather, and she keeps her head down—metaphorically speaking.

“How was your afternoon, Alyssa?” her mom asks, bright eyes on her. She lowers a slice of steak back to her plate and clears her throat with a brief glance at her father.

“Uneventful. How was yours, mother?”

She inclines her head, a conspiratorial smile playing on her lips. “Absolutely boring. My husband and daughter were hidden away in their studies all day.”

She laughs before Alyssa can feel guilty. She reaches across the table and brushes her fingers over the back of Alyssa’s hand, forgiveness promised in her eyes.

“Hidden away?” her father remarks. His words flow warmly, a rare grin directed at his wife. “My door is always open to you, Carmen.”

“And watch you approve paperwork all day? No thank you, sir!”

Alyssa can’t help but smile at the exchange.

“And you? You were upstairs for quite a while.”

The sharp change in her father’s tone straightens her spine, and her my expression morphs back into one of bland interest as she turns to meet his eyes. The sudden movement jolts her headache, and she isn’t able to hide all of her wince behind her clenched jaw.

“I was catching up on some reading for class,” she lies smoothly.

“I see.” He nods and leans forward in his chair. “You don’t look well.”

She hesitates, unwilling to admit the truth. She can’t imagine her father’s reaction to her losing several hours of time would be good, so she waits for the jammed cogs in her brain to churn out a suitable response.

“It’s just a headache,” she promises after a long pause, ignoring the way her stomach somersaults as she speaks. “Eye-strain, maybe. I was reading for several hours.”

“You shouldn’t work so hard.” Her mom’s serene interjection prompts her father to return his attention to his plate.

“I lost track of time.” Alyssa offers her a smile. She mirrors it, then turns back to her husband to discuss their upcoming trip to the capital.

Alyssa wastes no more time clearing her plate and asking to be excused. Her mom tells her to take an ibuprofen from her purse in the front hall, which she does on her way back upstairs.

Back on the third floor, she pauses at the door to her study. Just a few steps down the hall, her bedroom waits. Her bed waits, and the pounding behind her eyes feels like reason enough to take an early night.

With a sigh, still, she jerk the door open. She left the lights on, and the glare shining from the glossy cover of a textbook almost turns her back around. She stubbornly crosses the room and takes a seat at her desk.

The leather book waits for her, and she nearly flips it back open on impulse. She glances over at the stack of texts to her right, the slip of paper poking out of the first with a list of tasks.

She lifts the book, the rough cover feeling familiar under her fingertips. The cover doesn’t bear a title or an author, just the letters B.O.F. embossed across the front. She runs a finger over the initials, then the edge of the cover.

The trailing string on the bookmark knocks a pen from the desk, and she straightens up. Within moments, the book is hidden away in the desk drawer. She can read it later, when she’s gotten some work done.

Her work is much harder to get through than she may have hoped. Her headache slowly fades, but she can’t concentrate. Her thoughts keep circling back to Oxford, her friends, and the look on her mother’s face when they spoke in the family room.

That woman has been through enough.

She drops her pen on the desk and groans, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes. She’s been reading the same line over and over for the past—she can’t even see how long it’s been because she doesn’t have her phone!

You don’t need to know the time when you’re working. You’re done when the work is done.

She shakes her head in her hands, banishing her father’s words into the ether. He’s taken enough energy from her today.

It’s not fair.

She rises from the chair, every movement sticky and slow. Flicking the desk lamp off, she pads to the door, covering a yawn with the back of a hand. She only made it through two of the six readings due, and she still hasn’t touched the worksheets, but she has all of Sunday to get them done.

She barely registers the walk down the hall to her room. She doesn’t bother turning the lights on, merely kicking her shoes off on the way to the bed and falling face first onto the pillow. Her father will likely have words with her if he catches her sleeping in her clothes, but she doesn’t care.